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Jay?

Mindless rage. [1st world problems]

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So there's a subway right next to the hospital i work at, so i eat there every day or two.

I always know what i want going in, and i expect a certain level of competence in goddamn sandwich construction. I come in today, and immediately order a footlong meatball and pepperoni on italian herb and cheese, provolone, toasted, olives, pickles, and (I stress this because it's suck a difficult goddamn instruction) VERY light mustard.

So what does the mental reject constructing my sandwich do? He squeezes out a huge motherfucking glob of mustard out onto one half of my sandwich.

What. the. fuck. I mean, i get that we shouldn't be expecting much from people who couldn't do better than "professional sandwicher" as a career path, but goddamn, that is my lunch.

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1. Get plastic knife

2. Scrap excess mustard off

3. ???

4. Profit

i acknowledge that that is a possibility, but i am literally paying people to make sandwiches for me.

Also, have you tried scraping mustard off meatball&marinara? it's a pretty delicate task.

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i acknowledge that that is a possibility, but i am literally paying people to make sandwiches for me.

Also, have you tried scraping mustard off meatball&marinara? it's a pretty delicate task.

You aren't paying them, you're paying Subway, who pays them. He probably makes less than what your sandwich cost, in an hour.

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You aren't paying them, you're paying Subway, who pays them. He probably makes less than what your sandwich cost, in an hour.

That's right. I'm paying the company that pays him. Point is that it's his job to make a sandwich according to simple instructions. He is paid to do this. he's receiving monetary compensation for making sandwiches.

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Maybe he has coordination issues? Maybe he really wanted to put a tiny bit, but he can't fully control his muscular functions? Maybe he went home and cried that night, because he felt so terrible for ruining your sandwich?

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Maybe he has coordination issues? Maybe he really wanted to put a tiny bit, but he can't fully control his muscular functions? Maybe he went home and cried that night, because he felt so terrible for ruining your sandwich?

Then what the hell is he doing at a job that requires fine motor control?

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Trying to blend in with the normal people. Maybe it was his dream to work there.

Shitty dream. Sandwich Engineer isn't a fitting dream for anyone.

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Shitty dream. Sandwich Engineer isn't a fitting dream for anyone.

Maybe he comes from a long line of Sandwich entrepreneurs. Maybe his father, and his father before him, and HIS father before him, were all wildly successful 7 digit salary sandwich artists, and his disability completely destroyed their empire? Or what if t hey disowned him, for being such a massive disappointment?

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LOL... You're not the only one! I went in, got to the end, asked for Pepper no salt... so he starts putting salt on. I then proceed to ask for "three" cookies, they tell me they don't do "free" cookies.... i literally facepalmed myself in the store. Re-iterated that i wanted 3, got back to work, began eating only to find they gave me 2. I never went back after that.

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Maybe he comes from a long line of Sandwich entrepreneurs. Maybe his father, and his father before him, and HIS father before him, were all wildly successful 7 digit salary sandwich artists, and his disability completely destroyed their empire? Or what if t hey disowned him, for being such a massive disappointment?

Then common sense, or at least business sense, should have told him not to seek out a job where people would be relying on him to make a decent sandwich. there are many portions of the sandwich-making business that don't require fine motor control. In fact, most of those pay better.

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Then common sense, or at least business sense, should have told him not to seek out a job where people would be relying on him to make a decent sandwich. there are many portions of the sandwich-making business that don't require fine motor control. In fact, most of those pay better.

He's in the middle of a mental breakdown. A crisis. His life lacks direction, so he's clinging to the only thing he knows. He probably contemplates suicide every night, but his clumsy fingers can't tie a noose, and they tremble too hard to get onto the trigger, then he cries himself to sleep.

Also his gay lover just left him for his estranged twin brother, after a botched sandwich attempt.

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He's in the middle of a mental breakdown. A crisis. His life lacks direction, so he's clinging to the only thing he knows. He probably contemplates suicide every night, but his clumsy fingers can't tie a noose, and they tremble too hard to get onto the trigger, then he cries himself to sleep.

Also his gay lover just left him for his estranged twin brother, after a botched sandwich attempt.

Wait, so now this theoretical awful-sandwich-maker makes awful relationship choices as well? It's a good thing he likes men, because this is clearly genetic material we do not want to pass to the next generation.

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This is because the people who work at subway are robots who can't do anything outside of predefined perameters. Just try asking for a 12" with olives on only one half- I dare you.

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It seems Subway service in Australia is much better than Service in America/wherever. I go to Subway a fair bit, and every time I get the sub I want. Hell, they do a fairly good job too. And it always makes me smile when their badge says "Sandwich artist".

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I think we're all missing the point here which is what the fuck are you doing putting mustard on a meatball sandwich.

a little bit of mustard is actually really good on meatball subs. Especially if you also like pickles and olives.

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I've gone to several subways, and always order a 12 inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki, with provolone, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, olives, oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, and sweet onion sauce. If I only list a few items at a time, at a reasonably slow pace, they never mess up my sandwich. It's pretty much always exactly what I ordered. I have surprisingly good luck with places like this...

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They're always fine if i order something with normal portions of everything, but mustard is a delicate thing. Too much mustard, even just a little too much, can make a whole sandwich taste like nothing but mustard.

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The guy who makes my sandwiches seems fairly intelligent. Maybe I'll ask for a tiny amount of ranch and see if he can process tiny as "not a massive glob". Interesting experiment, and ranch doesn't taste that bad so it can't ruin the whole sandwich.

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I never had any problems with the composition of my subway sandwiches, but I have a very strange subway experience to share nevertheless:

I went into a subway about 5 years ago, and there were clouds of fruit flies. I'm not exaggerating, and I wasn't on drugs... I swear, there were clouds of them everywhere, on the counter, in the containers where they have the ingredients, on the tables, everywhere! And nobody seemed to care, the employees didn't even seem to notice them anymore, and there was a line of about 10 customers waiting patiently to buy their sandwiches. It was fucking surreal. I mean, ok, it's just fruit flies and granted, it was a very hot summer day, but come on, it was CLOUDS of them. No way anybody got a sandwich without at least a quarter pound of extra meat...

And this was a real subway franchise in germany, not some rip-off in a third world country... I literally walked backwards out of the shop. It took me 3 years to set a foot into a subway again after that.

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Me and another classmate kept seeing ants at school. Tons of ants. I have no experience with non-medical drugs, but he was still questioning whether the ants were real. At least they weren't in our food...

Yesterday I went to subway. I ordered a small amount of ranch dressing. I got a small amount of ranch dressing. It was perfect. You guys just have bad luck. I've almost never gotten my order wrong at a food place.

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Once, I ordered a pizza and got a sammich.

There, now I feel belonged. <3

No, but really, I shouted at the owner and got my lemons back. (read: money)

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