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Jokes thread

Industrial Miner

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Schrodinger is driving down the road when a cop pulls him over and inspects he car.

''Are you aware that you have a dead cat in your trunk?'' says the cop.

'' I am now!'' says Schrodinger

Physics joke? ... dont hear enough of those.

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no, its not exactly a joke,but more of a game.its called the game(hehe see what i did there,see!) and if you even think of it than you lose.

so, a lot of people are winning.

Making other people lose The Game is only really funny when they get pissed off. Since this is a mature forum, those who do get it will just pass on it like any other internet meme.

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A diamond is the hardest material in existence. You can break a diamond block with a simple iron pickaxe.

To be fair, it shatters rather easily.

Just hope the shards don't hit you or whatever you're wearing is torn to shreds. And you too.

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[awful jokes incoming]

A piece of string walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, buddy, we don't server string here." so ho goes off, and tells his friends no to worry, and that he has a plan, and ties himself up.

He walks inot the bar, and the barman says, "Hey, aren't you that piece of string that was in here earlier?"

String says "No, i'm a frayed knot."

A bear walks into a bar, and the barman says "Hey man, you gotta go, we don't serve bears here."

Bear says "If you don't gimme a beer, im gonna have to eat one of your customers"

Barman says "you gotta do what you gotta do, but i can't serve any bears here."

So the bear goes around, and finds this skeezy, trashy, drunken old lady, and he EATS her.

back at the bar he says "Well, i did it. I ate one of your customers. NOW will you gimme a beer?"

Barman says "No way man, i told you, we don't server bears, especially not bears on drugs!"

Bear says "Drugs!? I'm not on any drugs!"

Barman says "Yeah, well what about that bar bitch you ate?"

(barbiturate. because some people won't get it >_>)

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Fun fact : zombies speak ''Gra'h'' language and non understand:

Zombie: *pumps door* gra'h gooh GRA'H oah lok eh gra'h!

Steve : *grabs sword and kills zombie''

zombie translate: Steve wake up , enderman fcking up with your wife , wait no no dont hit !! , Y U PEOPLE NO LISTEN!?

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