ok so thanks for the guide i have now gotten everything working ( i started making my own custom pack yesterday) client-side at least, it took me a bit to get the server running correctly but i am still having problems, after about 5-10 minutes on the server it crashes with this crashreport:
http://pastebin.com/c7Ejiuii
do you have any idea what the problem is, please note that if it is a problem with ram just tell me, i do have a program on my computer somewhere ( i still haven't found out which one) that has been leaking memory slowly and it can fill up my ram a bit after 12 hours running and i will be restarting my computer now to clean my ram anyway.
and yes i have a shit-ton of mods installed