Tested this, you are correct. once I removed the Reliquary mod. the game finally loaded, and so did my cauldron server !
thanks so much ! glad I found this post and your reply.
Notes: removed AncientWarefare , went from 2.3 gb to 2.1 gb ram usage
Rmoved Project zulu mod after and, went from 2.1gb to 1.4 gb ram
2,395,684 K to 1,399,980K
After removing ancient warefare and project zulu at the same time.
my cpu % went from a bouncing 38-54% to 0-3%
running I5 3570K cpu.
so In otherwordsm there are 3 mods that need to be removed or updated/worked on.