Hexxit Backstory

[stevenchamp45]

I was bored so I wrote a backstory to hexxit, let me know if you like it, if you think stuff should be added on to it, stuff like that

"This is Hexxit"

stevenchamp45

Once upon a time, there were 3 children. One was a theft and a rogue in the shadows. Another was a tribal native who was one with the spirits. The third was a warrior in training. They were all friends who were the Sneaky, the Spirit and the Strong.

One day the three boys were playing in an ancient library. An old man told them to leave now, or forever regret it. For in that library was much more than they could ever expect. Little did the children listen, they wandered into a old and creaky part of

the library.

In the old, creaky aisle they felt strange, as if there was an energy upon them. They left the building and didn't come back.

20 years later the three boys, now young men came back to the library.

They wanted to explore the area again, wondering why they left when they were young. They remembered the old man's words, and those words made them curious. At this time the Sneaky child was a sneaky theft with many crimes against him, but none could be

proven. The Spirit was his tribes preist and was one with the world. The strong was a vast warrior known by all. As the three walked back in to the eerie hall as the floor creaks in the pitch black only lit by a single torch. They felt a strange energy

upon them. Even the priest who is used to this type of feeling was terrified and worried. The warrior felt ice run through his spine. The sneaky felt exposed to all and powerless. At the end of the hall they found a library. In this library there were

many books, but one in particular stood out. They were attracted to the book because it was where the energy's were emitting from. They grabbed it, it was purple with gold highlights. When opened, the priest was the only one who could read the ancient

text. Within this book was some form of chant or spell. The priest chanted it. A powerful energy ran through them, the ground shook, the candles lit themselves black. The book levitated. Its text glowed a golden yellow tone. And then... A black hole

opened up, It looked like it lead to an empty void.It sucked the men in and closed behind them. They were floating in a void for a brief moment. Then, they fell FAR down into a golden pond surrounded by beautiful landscape untouched, but looks are

deceiving. The golden pond was near ruins. In these ruins layed 3 mighty suits of armor and weapons of which the 3 have never seen before. Each put on a pair of armor that for some odd reason stood out to them and then picked up a weapon each. The Strong

wore a gold and obsidian suit, it made him feel like the most powerful being in the world, along with a blazing sword of fury. He felt as if it was meant for him. The Spirit put on some leather armor with a skull helmet, with a

mighty bow of pinpoint accuracy and a deadly strike. He felt as if he could dominate lands. And finally, the sneaky put on a cloth cloak with a razor sharp pair of daggers that came back to him when thrown. He felt as if he could stalk the shadows and

assassinate the king without anyone knowing. Together the 3 saw a tower, they headed to it to explore. The first floor had loot, along with many monsters that they defeated with ease. They went up the tower and this repeated for many floors, the higher

they went the better the loot. At the top they found the star of a meteor. But guarding it was A giant stone beast. None of there weapons worked on it, but they found a small spot on its back that they could not get to. Together, they defeated it. The

Strong kept it in one spot attacking on him, as his armor was strong and he would not take much damage. The Sneaky stole the star, and the Spirit struck the spot on the golem's back with his stunning accuracy and defeated the beast. After it was defeated

the twoer began to fall apart, and they rushed to the bottom before it collapsed on them. After it fell they looked at the world around them, The things new to them not found on there dimension. The things ahead of them, they didn't know. The new things

to discover were unlimited along with the mystery's of where they are and how to get home.

THIS IS HEXXIT.

[StevasaurousREX]

Once upon a time, there were 3 children. One was a theft and a rogue in the shadows. Another was a tribal native who was one with the spirits. The third was a warrior in training. They were all friends who were the Sneaky, the Spirit and the Strong.

Starts out like a fairy tale, not the worst thing ever to start with but I was almost instantly turn away. I dont want a kids story I want something adventurous and exciting! If you plan on writing you need to use whats called a 'hook', as you would a fish, you need to lure your readers in and snag them with a well thought out sentence or few sentences. The opening statement also needs to be that hook.

Also your story moves like a list. "This happened then this, and this, with some of this." It needs to gradually move from one subject to the next to create a picture in someones mind. As people read your story you really want them to lose the words and have this movie playing in their head where they can see every action and feel every emotion.

20 years later the three boys, now young men came back to the library.

They wanted to explore the area again, wondering why they left when they were young. They remembered the old man's words, and those words made them curious. At this time the Sneaky child was a sneaky theft with many crimes against him, but none could be

proven. The Spirit was his tribes preist and was one with the world. The strong was a vast warrior known by all.

This should be re-written. Something more like:

The boys fell apart over the years and each having different paths they want to take. The sneaky child had grown in to the most feared thief in the kingdom. The King, himself, had been robbed many times by the cunning rogue, but the Kings men could never find any proof of who had been there. The Spirit child had moved far away for years, living with the great monks. He had train vigorously to become a great priest! Through his training he had become one with the earth and sky. He could sense the power of any plant or animal and he could feel as they felt. The Strong child had taken to the Army of the King for many years, he had been release from duty after leading the Kings men to victory over the bandits that lived in the mountain. He made himself into the bravest warrior in all the land. Everyone knew of his triumphs, and praised him for the safety he brought them.

Twenty years after their encounter at the library the boys, now men, reunited. After catching up on their recent endeavors the men started talking about that night. They questioned why they left, they couldnt seem to remember any real problem. Perhaps they were scared way back then? Then they remembered the old man. The warning he had given them. What had he meant? Was there something valuable in the library? Was there something baring great intelligence that the boys would understand? or was their evil in the library that need cleansing? The men couldn't take it any longer. They were going to find out what was so special about that library.

EDIT:: Just wanted to add that the story is great! I did enjoy it and I think it needs to be a written better to captivate readers. This is, after all, a story about how this magical land called Hexxit came to exist.

[stevenchamp45]

Starts out like a fairy tale, not the worst thing ever to start with but I was almost instantly turn away. I dont want a kids story I want something adventurous and exciting! If you plan on writing you need to use whats called a 'hook', as you would a fish, you need to lure your readers in and snag them with a well thought out sentence or few sentences. The opening statement also needs to be that hook.

Also your story moves like a list. "This happened then this, and this, with some of this." It needs to gradually move from one subject to the next to create a picture in someones mind. As people read your story you really want them to lose the words and have this movie playing in their head where they can see every action and feel every emotion.

This should be re-written. Something more like:

The boys fell apart over the years and each having different paths they want to take. The sneaky child had grown in to the most feared thief in the kingdom. The King, himself, had been robbed many times by the cunning rogue, but the Kings men could never find any proof of who had been there. The Spirit child had moved far away for years, living with the great monks. He had train vigorously to become a great priest! Through his training he had become one with the earth and sky. He could sense the power of any plant or animal and he could feel as they felt. The Strong child had taken to the Army of the King for many years, he had been release from duty after leading the Kings men to victory over the bandits that lived in the mountain. He made himself into the bravest warrior in all the land. Everyone knew of his triumphs, and praised him for the safety he brought them.

Twenty years after their encounter at the library the boys, now men, reunited. After catching up on their recent endeavors the men started talking about that night. They questioned why they left, they couldnt seem to remember any real problem. Perhaps they were scared way back then? Then they remembered the old man. The warning he had given them. What had he meant? Was there something valuable in the library? Was there something baring great intelligence that the boys would understand? or was their evil in the library that need cleansing? The men couldn't take it any longer. They were going to find out what was so special about that library.

EDIT:: Just wanted to add that the story is great! I did enjoy it and I think it needs to be a written better to captivate readers. This is, after all, a story about how this magical land called Hexxit came to exist.

thanks for the support :)