Chapter One
Once there was a magical horse who lived with a fish.His name was Reaver McHasselhoffen. His fishy roommate went by the name of Grumpy Basselton.They both liked butts. They loved
their butts so much that one of them decided never to sit on it again! So, they swapped out their cars for segways, and used those to get around.
Now there was a kid named Billy the bully, and he did not like the fact they used segways. His hate for segways came from a childhood accident involving a giant marshmallow and a Segway he got for his 5th birthday, which was too hilariousgruesome to be explained in detail.So on their way to a brothel on their segways billy set up a devious plan. He mad a hole two men deep and covered it with leaves on the sidewalk where he knew they would go. He got bored and fell asleep. When he woke up, he forgot about the trap and fell into it. He died later that day of dysentery. The distinct smell of dysentery-induced death violated their nostrils and they couldn't help but retch down the deadly well as they looked down into it.
Chapter Two
Once upon a land hippo called Jesse Unoflop, there was a spider.It lived in a rather large pineapple. The pineapple was not under the sea, but was in fact on the continent of Australia, which is a continent on the land hippo called Jesse Unoflop.Sadly, Jesse died a couple of thousand years ago, due to being a land hippo and the sea being poisonous to him.Unoflop did not like the spider, so he hatched an evil plot! Sadly, Unoflop died before he could execute his plot, and it was left abandoned somewhere in Australia. The spider lived out the rest of his days in Australia, lamenting his lonely life and the fact nothing in Chapter Two of the book he was reading made sense. I wonder if anyone will notice that I inserted an extra sentence here. So instead, the spider threw the book into the fireplace, took a bottle of pineapple wine from the cupboard and watched a show on the divinghelmet tv.
Chapter Three
The shapeshifters alliance then realised what a pain in the ass chickens are and decided to eat them all. However, the princess of shapeshifters didn't get the memo, and shapeshifted into a chicken just as a chicken-eater mob came round the corner. The chicken eating mob then chased the princess for three days in a constant circle all the while the princess yelled: "Stop! I'm really just a fish!" Just as the chicken eaters caught the princess, they all fell over from intense dizziness caused by running around in a circle for three days, squashing the poor princess into goo and angering the almighty poultry god. "clucKC CLckU cllCKU" said the poultry god, which translates into "666 to ya'll motherfuckers down there thinkin you can mess with my homeboys." Upon saying this, the poultry god hoisted its mighty prosterior over the realm of the shape-shifters and unleashed a blinding storm of shit on them. Then the magical unicorn sorcerer of Ace Hobo s came and blasted the poultry god with cake. The cake being what it is, suddenly vanished before it reached its feathery target giving the poultry the chance to start peaking at Ace's face down to the bone! However, Ace Hobo predicted this would happen and used substitute just before the poultry god started attacking! Ace Hobo is suddenly evolving into...
an ULTRAPOULTRY GOD!
Evolutions inc. do not take clauses about unoriginality.
Chapter 4
Now there was a fish and a duck, they lived together in a collage dorm pretending to be students. They liked going to brothels. However, the brothels didn't like them. It was because one time one of the ho's didn't get paid by the duck and just ran. Because they were mad, the fish, named Ivan Il'yich Ivanov, decided to hatch an evil plot. After hatching his evil plot from an egg he kept in the fridge for just such an occasion, Il'yich donned his vibram fivefingers, mounted his segway, and set off toward gotham. Unfortunately, he was unaware that Billy the Bully from chapter 1 had been supernaturally reanimated, and so had his intense hatred for all things segway! This is, of course, the expected outcome, given that one's memories do tend to come with one when supernaturally reanimated. Billy, more intelligent and patient due to his reanimation, slipped into the dorm and modified his victims' segways to have a remote control override. Then Billy sufferd from a fatal heart attack that was brought on by a very decorated empress fish girl that wants to take over the world.
