Karth's Complete and Utter Newb's Guide to Forum Posting.

[KarthGuyThat]

Rule #1

- Read All of the Global Rules.

Like These Rules Here.

Doesn't matter what these rules include, even if you think it's silly, there is a time and a place to break them, and that doesn't mean it's all the time, context.

Rule #2

- Read All of the Stickied Threads.

Some that should be read first;

[1] [2] [3] [4]

Again, it doesn't matter if they want you to write all of your posts backwards while balancing a glass of milk on your head, they act as the specific board rules.

Rule #3

- Acquire decent grammatical skills.

This should be obvious, but capitalization or punctuation is small, but very important, there is a reason why it was created. Use It.

Examples Shown below;

How not to post: " i was wonderin when tehki is updated plz reply "

How to successfully post: " Look at this amazing factory I built in Technic! "

Rule #4

- Use a Thesaurus.

Seriously, use one of these, it will help you out infinity when posting on a forums.

Examples Shown Below;

Average Shitpost: " Lol your a homofag "

Now, how can we improve this to be a moderately acceptable post?

Quality, But Borderline Shitpost: " The post above me is that of homosexual nature, I simply cannot agree with such claims. "

Perhaps it really comes down to, "How would a pretentious British chav rewrite my post?"

More Examples Shown Below;

" what did i just read " / " What in the world is this man trying to explain? It's pure insane rabble! "

" Technic isn't working why won't you fix it!? " / " The Technic pack is not working to satisfactory, could I inquire that you fix such errors? "

Rule #5

- Kiss Those Moderator Asses.

Again, as with the other rules discussed, it doesn't matter if you detest the administration with all of your ever loving heart, you do as they say.

Have you ever had to get a job? Probably not, or else you'd understand, the Boss, is, le Boss, he/she governs the place, and you do as they please, or else.

It's the same thing, in the end. Don't get on their bad side, this will gain you nothing.

Visual Representation;

Rule #6

- Be Polite to everyone.

When posting on a forums, it's important to remember that the other posters are people too.

One could say, Do nice things, and good things will happen to you, but this isn't magic we're talking about here, this is a simple cause and effect! Let me explain.

When you are polite and courteous of the members of the forum that you are posting in, there is a good chance they'll be polite and courteous right back!

On the other hand, if you're being a " bag of dickweasels " it is assumed another posted will respond in a similar manner as he's now upset at your posts.

[The_DarthMoogle]

Sorry to burst your bubble and smash your hopes of fame, but the n00bs you intend to appeal to will ignore this even more than the stickies. However, there may be a solution gathering in my head, but I doubt Cheap or Kaker will try it.

[jakj]

I don't know about Cheap, but Kaker's pretty flexible. You should have seen him last thursday at the barbecue.

[Jay?]

I don't know about Cheap, but Kaker's pretty flexible. You should have seen him last thursday at the barbecue.

Kaker is pretty damn limber. Especially for his age

[KarthGuyThat]

I never intended upon this becoming something important, I merely wanted to express my own success on the forums. I am no better then your average shit-poster at heart, but I've acquired a means of presenting my posts in a manner* of which they look, act, and perceive to be not of a shitpost like nature.

* Edit, Reason; changed "Manor" to Manner" thanks!

[Torezu]

I never intended upon this becoming something important, I merely wanted to express my own success on the forums. I am no better then your average shit-poster at heart, but I've acquired a means of presenting my posts in a manor of which they look, act, and perceive to be not of a shitpost like nature.

Next on your List of Things to Do: learn the difference between "manor" and "manner." :)

[Lear85]

Next on your List of Things to Do: learn the difference between "manor" and "manner."

No. Of course me meant to say manor. He means to present his posts from within a giant fancy house!

[KarthGuyThat]

I said it myself, I'm not better then your run of the mill shitposter, I merely have found a way around my poor habits. Thanks for the proofread, I *sometimes don't catch things like that!

* Edit, Reason; changed the "c" to an "s"

[Torezu]

I said it myself, I'm not better then your run of the mill shitposter, I merely have found a way around my poor habits. Thanks for the proofread, I *sometimes don't catch things like that!

* Edit, Reason; changed the "c" to an "s"

Now all you have to do is change the "e" to an "a" (in then -> than). You could also change two of the three commas to semicolons and add some quotes if you really wanted to please the grammar nazis. :)

[KarthGuyThat]

Now all you have to do is change the "e" to an "a" (in then -> than). You could also change two of the three commas to semicolons and add some quotes if you really wanted to please the grammar nazis.

I'm trying, I understand that It's not the best. I don't advertise it to be, personally just enjoy looking and sounding like I put effort into my words.

[DemonCrusher36]

When you sign up for the forum, you should be forced to read this.

[The_DarthMoogle]

When you sign up for the forum, you should be forced to read this.

My super awesome idea is along the lines of this, but I need time to phrase it carefully.

[Pokefan151]

write all of your posts backwards while balancing a glass of milk on your head

!daeh ym no klim fo ssalg a gnicnalab elihw sdrawkcab tsop ym gnitirw ma I

Just kidding. This could be stickied, but then no idiot would read it.

[fidchelle]

A considerably better guide is to just not post on the forum.

I only post if I have a massive, urgent need to ask a question, or say something that is on my mind.

Look at my post count. It is so tiny! That is something to be proud of. I have not been kellered or banned because I make no noise or posts. I don't contribute anything to the community, but in my case, this is probably a good thing because I am a useless cunt anyway *laughs joylessly and overdoses on ambien*

either way my point is that everyone in the entire world's opinion is useless and valueless. If the forum (and social life in general) was reduced to only 100% necessary communications, such as dire requests for information, or powerful informative exchanges, then perhaps the world (and this forum) would be a better place.

I apologize for this shit post. I understand if I am permanently banned for this (I probably deserve it)

[Lear85]

A considerably better guide is to just not post on the forum.

I only post if I have a massive, urgent need to ask a question, or say something that is on my mind.

Look at my post count. It is so tiny! That is something to be proud of. I have not been kellered or banned because I make no noise or posts. I don't contribute anything to the community, but in my case, this is probably a good thing because I am a useless cunt anyway *laughs joylessly and overdoses on ambien*

either way my point is that everyone in the entire world's opinion is useless and valueless. If the forum (and social life in general) was reduced to only 100% necessary communications, such as dire requests for information, or powerful informative exchanges, then perhaps the world (and this forum) would be a better place.

I apologize for this shit post. I understand if I am permanently banned for this (I probably deserve it)

A world with only a pure torrential mass of raw information, containing no opinions or emotion, would die out quickly. Love could not exist, and as a result, sex would decline greatly and marriages would be nonexistant, seeing as from a logical view they are only an overly complex ceremony followed by a binding legal document that would be better sealed with only a signature if one wanted to bypass flourishes of feeling and not-so-informational things. Emotion could not be properly displayed, and if this policy of only necessary conversation kept on, emotion may die out. If we lose our opinions and feelings and become, or even just act as only mindless parts of one self-optimizing machine, would we still be those interesting, wonderful little humans that currently populate the earth?

Luckily, humanity will never eat itself like that. There will always be some people disrupting the current balance, people opposing the majority for no reason other than the fact that it's the majority, people who can't do anything without injecting large amounts of bias and opinion into their work, and people who are just too ignorant to follow the efficient machine your idea would create. In fact, based off of how humans have been running themselves for the past (insert your preferable world age here) years, that inefficient minority will really be the majority.

[fidchelle]

I completely agree. If everyone followed my viewpoints the world would cease to be populated by humanity after the last generation dies out.

Thats precisely the reason why it would be a better place.

Humanity is a filthy, rotten, disgusting mass of corruption and cruelty.

It deserves death. It's a system that should have been destroyed before its very conception!

[Lear85]

Humanity does suck at times. The majority of mankind has been, in relatively civil terms, a bunch of assholes. Thousands of years into recorded human history, and we're only just recently making a few actual attempts to consider most of mankind equal regardless of race, age, and opinion. I think that one day the majority of humans will be able to agree to disagree. I'm not denying that there will always be a recognizable group of people out there who maintain man's old brutish ideas, but I think we still aren't completely hopeless. For now we were just born into the birth of a transitional phase in human thought. This discussion is already revolutionary. We've acknowledged that humans themselves are and always have been a group of brutish savages who have up until recently followed only a path of destruction. More and more people are growing to accept that humanity as a whole has been destroying itself, and people are at least making an effort to improve. A hundred years ago, in western culture, to be non-white was to be sub-human, to be in open disagreement of religion without great conflict was rare, and to be homosexual was unspeakable. Today, we still have a lot of instances racism and extreme homophobia, but we've grown a lot over the past century. I think that over time, now that we know we've fucked up, we can build ourselves into a better race that can manage itself without the majority of people doing something to destroy what could be, impossible as it seems, an efficient system of humans. This may take a long time. Neither of us may live to see mankind at its best. But I think one day this can happen. We've survived for thousands of years, albeit unpleasantly. I think we can survive for a long time afterwards, and clean ourselves up over time.

[fidchelle]

It isn't a matter of if we will survive. Like all parasites, humanity will thrive, even under the harshest of conditions.

But my personal belief is that we shouldn't survive.

If you truly tear down all the spiritualism and "Magic" of life and look at it, in its rotten core. It is a long and painful cycle of survival, coupled with brief, meaningless, moments of time wasting emotion.

But like the majority of humanity, you see these moments as precious. As some sort of mystical aura that you dare not hold in low regards.

You follow the flow of what is to be believed in the walks of life, but my eyes are opened to the truth.

We are born to pass on our genes and then die. Nothing more. Everything else is just a way to pass the time as the inevitable fate is reached.

Remember, above all else:

Beyond the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are. Death awaits you. and when it comes, your life will be nothing but fleeting memories, carried on for future generations. When they die, there will be no trace left of you.

If your fortunate then maybe, maybe, you'll be in a few history books, but so what. Your dead. Your experiences and affects on life are over.

[Lear85]

What you say has much meaning. Regardless, I'm making sure that me and my girlfriend can enjoy our human life as much as we can. To see a rotten humanity isn't a reason to wish destruction for me. It's a reason to look for the good things scattered among it, and to enjoy what I can, and make life good for those who are good to me. These forums are filled with great people with interesting diverse opinions, and the ones who don't get chewed out by the administration for shitposting, including us, are able to contribute many brilliant ideas and opinions that gives "meaningless emotion" to people, making the shit humanity more enjoyable to those in it. Yes, humans in general suck. But as long as I can find a few other people who are exceptional and don't suck, I can maintain enough happiness to consider it worth being a part of humanity.

Yes, emotion doesn't contribute to much. But you still should learn to enjoy it more. Participate in the forums, and share your ideas. I know you have plenty of great ideas in your head. Do something fun. Fall in love. Do things that aren't productive. You'll enjoy life a lot more that way.

[fidchelle]

Thank you for the offer.

But I think I am going to continue to hold nothing but hatred and contempt for humanity in my heart, loath my dead end job, and continue to live my life in a general miserable and bitter way that tends to have me avoiding friendships or meaningful relationships with people in place of mindless tobacco and alcohol related self destruction and ceaseless masturbation to things no longer living.

Great talking to you (not really) but I have a lot of hating to do. Ta~ta!

[Jay?]

I'm just going to ring in real quick, while everyone is talking about their philosophy, and say that i happen to think that the general shittiness of the human race is reason to strive for improvement, rather than simply condemn the entirety.

I'll have my cybernetic implant now, please.

[jakj]

Well, at least you're pragmatic about your optimism.

[fidchelle]

My hatred for humanity and lack of faith in anyone and anything aside;

If I sort of temporarily derailed the discussion in this thread I apologize it was not intended.

Also, although I do not agree with your viewpoints Lear, I do admire your determination to defend them. I can agree that not all humanity is bad. But I see such terrible things in the world every day, and it brings me to a point in which I say, that with all of the cruelty, stupidity, ignorance, and just plain meanness present in humanity, even if there is the rare gem in the dirt, I would not be too torn up if everyone in the world, including myself, were destroyed.

That being said, hey. Maybe there is hope. I don't see it, but a lack of evidence does not automatically mean that it does not exist. I just don't see it.

Getting back on topic; This was a very good guide for newbies. Thank you for your time for posting it.