So, just had this rather coherent dream for once as opposed to the usual mishmash of characters, nonsense dialogue, and 80’s CGI Hollywood effects, so I thought I’d share. Plus I can’t sleep any more now anyways.
So, here I was, just chilling out, enjoying playing muh video games, (particularly some sort of fusion of EVE Online, Warframe, and Starmade. It actually seemed like a really cool game.), when for no good reason, I became the target of a good-old-fashioned public internet hate-mob. The reason I had become public enemy no. 1 is because apparently some Mexican father had tried to contact me about helping his obese son to exercise and become healthy. I never saw his message, and apparently that translated into some sort of unforgivable sin against humanity. (shrugs)
So anyways, I started being attacked randomly inside said game, (my existence in which was also somehow tied to my ability to listen to Spotify???). First rando or two, I handily blew up, leaving naught but fragments of spaceship and angry-yet-defenseless people. After that, it started to get overwhelming.
And then the cavalry arrived. ALL of you guys swooped in, saved my butt multiple times, and we, coordinated via Skype, commenced obliterating noobs and skilled-yet-uncoordinated players alike with extreme prejudice. Lazers flew, bombs whiffed, ships were boarded and Warframes bit the floor. A massive horde of random people were bitterly defeated before the awesome might of our ragtag fleet of ships and crew. After clearing a massive buffer zone around the area of space where I usually was, which apparently no new ships could spawn in, we were enjoying a victory party. We had a pool barbecue. (But in SPACE, so cooler I guess.)
When SUDDENLY, we were all teleported into the depths of a massive, and very hostile, enemy mothership/planetoid/thing™. Our escape was epic, and, after judicious use of short-range teleportation techniques to drop missile and laser turret locks, we escaped back into open space. (and got to watch the massive ship explode death-star style for some reason, that was cool too.)
After that I guess some pop star must have died again or something, because the public stopped seeming to care about me and everyone went on with their lives. The massive void in the space game we cleared out remained as a testament to what had happened.
Real world damage to me consisted entirely of two amusingly benign and delicious vanilla cakes being delivered to my doorstep, already paid for. (I guess this was a very amateur internet hate mob???)
Overall, 8/10, still a better love story than Twilight, would buy again.