Re: ***WARNING….. NEWB ALERT… (with inevitable questions :\ ) ***
Haven't read you're entire post, but if I'm correct you're using too much bandwith? If I'm correct, you need to host a server on the LAN itself. If you want help on this, just ask.
EDIT: I don't really agree with him getting Helen Keller'd. It's one of the best posts from a noob I've ever seen.