Dafuq is up with Comcast?

[VideoBoy]

Check out the underlined bold part below. I'm screwed.

Chris: Hi, I'm a live Comcast product specialist. Would you like my help checking out?

Chris: Just type your question below.

You: Your new data cap of 300GB sucks.

Chris: There is a 250 GB bandwidth limit on our internet service. No worries, more than 99% of our customers will not be impacted by a 250 GB monthly data usage threshold.

You: I've already exceeded the cap and it's only the 22nd of the month... guess I'm in the other 1%.

Chris: If you exceed more than 250 GB, you may receive a call from the Customer Security Assurance team to notify you of excessive use.

You: Yeah I kept seeing those annoying popups on webpages.

Chris: If you exceed 250GB again within six months of the first contact, your service will be subject to termination and you will not be eligible for either residential or commercial internet service for twelve months. If your account is terminated, after the twelve month period expires, you may sign up for service again.

You: Comcast was great before this shit... now I'm thinking of going back to AT&T. I can't pay $10 per extra fifty gigs.

You: Wait what? Terminate my account? So the incremental $10 fees aren't good enough?

You: You're a residential cable company, not a wireless network. Start acting like it. Who else has data caps? This is ridiculous, sir.

Chris: I understand that you are looking to reduce cost. To discuss lower priced options, please call our Customer Service Team at 1-800-COMCAST (1-800-266-2278) for more information. They will be able to access your account information and see what options are available to you.

You: What other residential internet company has data caps, Chris?

You: Can't find the script for that one, huh?

Chris: Our Billing Chat Agents are the best group to help you with all of your Billing and Account questions. I’m happy to walk you through the simple steps to connect to that group.

Chris: Are you ok with me sending you to the appropriate webpage to connect to that group?

You: No. I want you to tell me what other residential internet service puts data caps on their customers.

You: I use 600GB and up per month, kid. I can't live on 300 gigs.

Chris: Please click here to access the page.

You: Just submit my complain to your boss and have him submit it to his boss. I'm sure I'm not the only customer you're losing.

Chris: Once you reach the Comcast Support page place your mouse over the Trouble tab and click on the product you are experiencing issues with from the options in the drop down menu.

Chris: You will see a series of Frequently Asked Questions that you may find helpful; otherwise, click Chat With Live Agent.

You: Oh my god... are you human or are you a bot?

You: If you're a bot, congrats on the programming.

Chris: I am a real person. You will be asked to provide a short description of your issue and some account information (name, address, phone #, and if you have it, your account number). Then click Start Chat.

Chris: Is there anything else I can help you with today?

You: Yeah. Tell me why you suddenly start putting up data caps.

You: I'm already cancelling my service, but I'm still curious.

You: Are you guys broke or something?

Chris: I am sorry but only our technical support team can provide you with the detailed information on our data cap.

You: Put him on the line, will ya?

Chris: I gave you the link to chat with our technical support team.

You: Chris, are you gay?

He actually responded and now we're having a totally off topic discussion... will post part 2 later. XD

[Jay?]

Uh, yeah, you're kindof an idiot.

[VideoBoy]

Uh, yeah, you're kindof an idiot.

Hey, don't judge! I always get the urge to troll those tech support guys on the internet... but this one ended rather decently. Mostly because he actually conversed with me. It must've been a slow day at work BECAUSE OF HOW MANY CUSTOMERS THEY'RE LOSING DUE TO THE DAMN DATA CAPS:

You: Chris, are you gay?

Chris: I am proud to be a guy.

You: Cool. But do you like other guys?

Chris: Yes, but as friends and nothing more.

You: So you like girls?

Chris: Yes, I do.

You: How old are you, Chris?

Chris: I am 25 years old.

Chris: Please feel free to chat back with us if you have any questions regarding our packages.

Chris: Are there any other questions I can answer for you today?

You: Yeah. Do you have one of them survey links you guys hand out to get a raise? Most tech support fags hang up after I start trolling, but you stayed. For that, you deserve max ratings on everything.

You: You are the best tech support assistant I have had the pleasure of dealing with.

Chris: I could have provided you with the detailed information on the technical side of our internet, yet I cannot provide you more since only our technical support team can provide you with the detailed one.

You: Stop copypasting from your little scriptbook, Chris. We're having a man-to-man conversation here.

You: Do you play videogames?

Chris: I rarely do that one.

You: Do you have Comcast internet?

Chris: Yes, we do.

You: We? Are you married?

Chris: I am not yet married. I am still looking for the right partner.

You: I see, I see. What state do you live in?

Chris: I am in California right now.

Chris: I am sorry but I cannot disclose anything more for you. It would be much better if you call and inquire on our internet services.

Chris: I really appreciate the time you spent with me.

You: I'll let you go back to work then. It was nice speaking to you.

You: Yeah me too. XD

Chris: Thank you for your time as well.

Chris: Thank you for visiting Comcast today. I hope you'll come visit us again soon.

Chris: You have a wonderful day.

You: Shit, I'm staying with Comcast now just for their tech support. Well played, Chris. You have a wonderful day too.

[Xylord]

Hey, don't judge! I always get the urge to troll those tech support guys on the internet... but this one ended rather decently. Mostly because he actually conversed with me. It must've been a slow day at work BECAUSE OF HOW MANY CUSTOMERS THEY'RE LOSING DUE TO THE DAMN DATA CAPS:

That's hilarious. For many reasons. But... In the end, you're still screwed. :D

[freakachu]

Hey, don't judge!

guilty. the J stands for judging, it's what I do. you're welcome.

speaking as someone who has actually worked for comcast as internet tech support, abusing the guy will get you absolutely nowhere. btw, AT&T has a 250gig cap on their U-verse service. however, I'm pretty sure they don't give you the boot if you use more than that. your only real hope is to pray that FIOS comes to your area.

the termination thing has been a comcast policy for a few years now, it's just not exactly a well known one and also used to be hard to hit. if you're a netflix fiend, I can see you blowing that cap constantly nowadays though. don't expect comcast or AT&T to change though, netflix and such are basically in direct competition with them, they've got no reason to help them out. their answer is to use their TV/on demand movie services, which suck in comparison of course.

[The_DarthMoogle]

I'm massively unsure as to whether Chris was a bot or not...

[Pulse95]

Not to worry, my top men managed to fix your problem.

[VideoBoy]

guilty. the J stands for judging, it's what I do. you're welcome.

speaking as someone who has actually worked for comcast as internet tech support, abusing the guy will get you absolutely nowhere. btw, AT&T has a 250gig cap on their U-verse service. however, I'm pretty sure they don't give you the boot if you use more than that. your only real hope is to pray that FIOS comes to your area.

the termination thing has been a comcast policy for a few years now, it's just not exactly a well known one and also used to be hard to hit. if you're a netflix fiend, I can see you blowing that cap constantly nowadays though. don't expect comcast or AT&T to change though, netflix and such are basically in direct competition with them, they've got no reason to help them out. their answer is to use their TV/on demand movie services, which suck in comparison of course.

Guess I'm going back to torrents then. At least then I only have to download stuff once. The only reason I switched to Netflix was so I can use that Sony streaming box in the living room for the huge TV. And yeah, FIOS... but they ain't coming down here any time soon. I'm in Tennessee. :/

Not to worry, my top men managed to fix your problem.

Haha this. XD