Surprising Diagnoses (or, What Bit You?)

[jakj]

I just got back from the clinic for persistent dizziness. Diagnosis: So much ear wax it's pressing on the internals. Treatment: Sticking a miniature golf club in there and digging.

What "fun" times have y'all had?

[Jay?]

I just got back from the clinic for persistent dizziness. Diagnosis: So much ear wax it's pressing on the internals. Treatment: Sticking a miniature golf club in there and digging.

What "fun" times have y'all had?

I've had my gall bladder removed, which resulted in long term digestive problems, and also a bone spur on my knee that threatened to fuse my kneecap and tibia.

[Hushful]

Viral Pneumonia w/ Pleurisy, and I had the corner of a 500 lbs steel plate split my left shin open to the bone from the knee to mid way down.

[jakj]

Damn. You folks must have chosen hardcore difficulty when you were spawning.

[Jorcer]

Got hit with a hockey puck in the knee cap and shattered it into 6 pieces... (I play goal) had to get a metal spike for a few months...

(No arrow to the knee jokes please)

[poryy]

I got a necron head stuck in my ear once. Don't ask.

if you do not get what a necron is, it is a small plastic model soldier.

[Jorcer]

I got a necron head stuck in my ear once. Don't ask.

if you do not get what a necron is, it is a small plastic model soldier.

Those are the pointy ones right? I would take that over excessive amounts of ear wax...

[poryy]

Those are the pointy ones right? I would take that over excessive amounts of ear wax...

Yep. It hurt like Bragg was sitting on me. 100 e-peen points to whoever tells where that is from.

[Adlersch]

How does one manage to have excessive amounts of ear wax? Assuming you're not really a fluffy bunny, wouldn't a quick swab with Q-tips after each shower do the trick?

...On-topic, I've not really had many exciting injuries. The worst were probably: Breaking my right middle finger up the whole length of the finger, literally fracturing the bones in half, mildly tearing my quadricep, and perhaps my most/least impressive injury: Getting attacked by a rottweiler resulting in a long scar down the length of my calf.

The reason the last is both impressive and not impressive at all is that, while the scar is indicative of either my being awesome and physical or gaining myself a serious injury, the actual wound was barely a scratch and made me bleed so very minimally that the blood clotted and stayed within the cut before it could spill out onto my uninjured flesh. Literally, the cut was maybe a millimeter or two deep. But the tooth/nail/whatever-the-dog-managed-to-cut-me-with was so dull that it just scarred right up.

[Xylord]

Never fractured a bone. Ever. 500 mL of 2% milk does the trick, and I've had many instances when I should have broken something, but I didn't.

As for my most impressive wound, it would probably be between the two jellyfish who stung me on all the length of the arm and transformed it into a burning pin holder for two days, and when this beast bit me :

For once, fear really did cut deeper than the sword. Her poison isn't actually much more dangerous than a wasp's, other than it's tenfold as painful and lasts for longer. But back when it had bit me, I was thinking their poison was mortal, since I had quickly read an article about them (Myrmecia Pavida) in a biology magazine, and they mentioned they could be fatal to allergic people.

But there, it had just bit me, it hurt like hell, and the only information I had about this ant is that it was deathly dangerous. I never truly feared for my life but for this one time.

[The_DarthMoogle]

The glial tissue in my brain reacts differently to chemicals. Ergo I cannot get drunk or high.

Also, my liver gelifies on contact with alcohol, so it doesn't even poison me.

Sticking a miniature golf club in there and digging.

I actually had the earwax thing, but my treatment was to lie down on my side and have hot olive oil poured down there to dissolve the wax.

[poryy]

Never fractured a bone. Ever. 500 mL of 2% milk does the trick, and I've had many instances when I should have broken something, but I didn't.

As for my most impressive wound, it would probably be between the two jellyfish who stung me on all the length of the arm and transformed it into a burning pin holder for two days, and when this beast bit me :

For once, fear really did cut deeper than the sword. Her poison isn't actually much more dangerous than a wasp's, other than it's tenfold as painful and lasts for longer. But back when it had bit me, I was thinking their poison was mortal, since I had quickly read an article about them (Myrmecia Pavida) in a biology magazine, and they mentioned they could be fatal to allergic people.

But there, it had just bit me, it hurt like hell, and the only information I had about this ant is that it was deathly dangerous. I never truly feared for my life but for this one time.

That is a massive beast.

[okamikk]

my worst injury happened when i was five. i was swinging on a pre-war all-metal swing and had the stupid idea to stand up and jump when i was swinging from beam to beam, the result was an injury that really should have split my head open and eight stiches that i will carry the scar from fo the rest of my life

[Lethosos]

Most interesting injury I've had is a broken thumb that I got from skiing. Fell down the slope and tumbled a fair bit; somehow my hand got under a ski. Didn't even know the lower bone (nearest the wrist) in my right thumb was broken until after a month.

[ErusPrime]

I've hit my toe really hard on a door jamb. Not my big toe either. the little one.

[jakj]

I've hit my toe really hard on a door jamb. Not my big toe either. the little one.

Reminds me of the time I tried to kick a soccer ball while standing on a cement walkway, except I kicked just -behind- the soccer ball.