Corrupt-a-wish

[planetguy]

You transmute oranges into lemons by touching them. Your next glass of orange juice is an unpleasant surprise.

 

I wish there were more moderators on these forums, to control the influx of clueless people.

[Monkeyintx]

The whole entire forum is mods and there is a gigantic war of mods banning mods.

 

I wish I had a taco

[p0pdr0p]

You get a taco but the person who made it did not wear gloves or wash his hands, you get food poisoning and die.

 

I wish for an army of skeletons.

[planetguy]

You have an army of skeletons (still inside people, mind you) that obey your orders to the best of their abilities. As it turns out, they can only move because of the force of their (former) owners' muscles.

 

I wish I lived across the street from a nice restaurant.

[theprolo]

You live across the street from a nice restaurant, and right next door to a British open prison. Within a few days a prisoner escapes and murders you for your slippers.

 

I wish for a giant statue of Santa Clause for no apparent (or hidden) reason.

[LunaticMiner]

A weird cult across the street from you finds it offensive, ties you to it, and burns you on it.

 

I wish I had an antimatter generator.

[planetguy]

You get an antimatter generator. Should the power ever go out at your house, you will be able to convert your antimatter into electricity.

 

I wish I had a nuclear submarine.

[dwwojcik]

You get a nuclear submarine, but the Russian Navy wants it back.

I wish I had an ingot of platinum.

[theprolo]

An ingot of Platinum appears wedged in your throat (seems like whoever's granting these wishes needs to work on their aim), and you choke to death. Not on the platinum, of course, but on the equipment some mad homeless person seeking their fortune uses to try to extract it from your unconscious body...

 

I wish to be a ninja.

[LunaticMiner]

You become a ninja, but you haven't mastered your skills yet. You accidentally slice yourself in half with razor wire during a late-night solo practice session. They find you bisected and bled to death in the morning.

 

I wish for a spool of razor wire. (the ridiculous, fictional kind that he just cut himself in half with)

[dwwojcik]

You get a roll of razor wire, but it is so ridiculous that it instantly cuts your fingers off the instant you take it out of the package.

I wish trees had blue leaves.

[theprolo]

Tree leaves contain a dangerous blue chemical which is released into the atmosphere when burned. Within weeks, the entire population of the planet has choked to death due to deforestation.

 

I wish blues had leaf trees (I don't know either)

[TheBytemaster]

Tree leaves contain a dangerous blue chemical which is released into the atmosphere when burned. Within weeks, the entire population of the planet has choked to death due to deforestation.

 

I wish blues had leaf trees (I don't know either)

Everything blue suddenly starts growing trees. The suspicion between countries of bio-weapons testing grows until eventually nuclear war breaks out.

 

I wish for air.

[p0pdr0p]

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Edited March 6 by p0pdr0p

[Liszt's Right Hand]

Your wish for immunity fails as they still don't have a cure for cancer.

 

I wish that i'd never met your Mum.