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No harm happens to you, so you join me in eternity. I discover a love for Dungeons and Dragonns when you discover a hate for it.

I wish I had a personal cloud I could control at will.

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No harm happens to you, so you join me in eternity. I discover a love for Dungeons and Dragonns when you discover a hate for it.

I wish I had a personal cloud I could control at will.

What is dungeons and dragons? Couldn't we just play Minecraft over LAN on a satellite or something?

You have a personal cloud, and you can control it at will, but then it gains size as it absorbs evaporated water and then starts to fall as rain.

I wish I knew what Dungeons and Dragons is.

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Your cloud's unnatural movements creates thunderstorms, hurricanes, and sharknados.

NINJA CAUSED EDIT: You learn of D&D, and lose your life to its magnificence.

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up at will, with middle ground options such as "wake when disturbed".

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No harm happens to you, so you join me in eternity. I discover a love for Dungeons and Dragonns when you discover a hate for it.

I wish I had a personal cloud I could control at will.

You can control the cloud. Unfortunatly, to control it you have to never speak, write, gesture or type again.

DOUBLE NINJA:

You can control you sleep at will, but unfortunatly, due to the level of concentration required to control sleep, your sleep is actualy more exhausting than being awake, and you die of restlessness.

I wish I was the richest man in a country featuring only me.

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EPIC TRIPLE NINJA :ninja:

You get one, but you can't ride on it because clouds are far too wispy for that, and it's too small to produce any amount of precipitation or shade.

I wish to live in the locations of my choice, in a physically healthy, uninjured, and apparently normal version of my current body containing my current mental state, a body which will heal from all injuries at a rate 100 sigmas faster than the average given the medical technology available to me, and which will be protected from any diseases, injuries or illnesses causing disability, pain, or degraded functionality or any sense, organ, or bodily function for more than ten days consecutively or fifteen days in any year; at any time I may rejuvenate my body to a younger age, by saying a phrase matching this pattern five times without interruption, and with conscious intent: 'I wish to be age,’ followed by a number between one and two hundred, followed by ‘years old,’ at which point the pattern ends - after saying a phrase matching that pattern, my body will revert to an age matching the number of years I stated and I will commence to age normally from that stage, with all of my memories intact; at any time I may die, by saying five times without interruption, and with conscious intent, 'I wish to be dead’; the terms 'year' and 'day' in this wish shall be interpreted as the ISO standard definitions of the Earth year and day as of 2013.

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Nothing bad can happen to you, which is the same as everything bad happening to you.

You die a horrible death.

I wish Terraria would go on sale.

Terraria is .0000000001% off. To make up the cost of multiplying and subtracting small numbers, they charge you a 5% arithmetic fee.

I wish I could inject extra time into each day.

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Terraria is .0000000001% off. To make up the cost of multiplying and subtracting small numbers, they charge you a 5% arithmetic fee.

I wish I could inject extra time into each day.

You get the ability to launch meteorites into the earth in a specific angle.

Everytime a meteorite the size of America hits the earth the day increases by a few microseconds.

By overusing this power you destroy the world trying to make the day 1 second longer.

I wish for cereals

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  • 2 weeks later...

You move to Mount Everest, but your oxygen gear falls out of the moving van on a steep slope and you die of oxygen deficiency.

I wish I didn't have to go to school to learn.

You get pardoned from going to school, and never have a proper future or job as a result.

I wish the technic launcher would work for me again.

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You get pardoned from going to school, and never have a proper future or job as a result.

I wish the technic launcher would work for me again.

It works for you as a cook (under the name of "Technic Luncher") but is very bad at making food so you die of food poisoning.

I wish I was the best man in the next marriage that happens.

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Everyone at the wedding is consumed by Cthulhu's wrath.

I wish that MineCraft ran on the Source engine and was on Steam.

Minecraft now runs on Source and is not written in Java. Much of Minecraft modding relies on the fact that it is quite simple to decompile, change and replace a Java class. Anything of that sort would be impossible with a C/C++ program, so there are no mods for Minecraft. Goodbye Tekkit, FTB, Forge, Bukkit, Canary, and everything else.

I wish Minecraft Forge allowed string list config properties with non-empty defaults.

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Your demand angers LexManos so much that he decides to quit modding forever and the Forge project is over, resulting in an incredible decline in Minecraft modding.

I wish my modpack had the most likes.

Your modpack's likes cause an integer overflow error. You now have -2,147,483,647 likes.

I wish Thermal Expansion would be updated to 1.6.x.

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King_Lemming updates Thermal Expansion to 1.6.x and hands off development to a trusted dev team as expected, while remaining in creative control, but unfortunately, due to Covert Jaguar's improvements to Buildcraft, Thermal Expansion is forced to move to it's own energy system and you have to restart the world you put dozens of hours into anyway.

I wish I didn't have to take Spanish classes.

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You don't learn Spanish and are then kidnapped by evil drug lords and taken to Mexico. You cannot be rescued due to language barriers with the police.

I wish that gaming would be considered a serious hobby.

Gaming is a serious hobby. It becomes SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Too serious.

Many many rampant crimes are committed due to the seriousness which gaming now commands. Eventually you are murdered by the parents of the 12-year-old you were trash-talking on CoD.

I wish for someone to corrupt my wish.

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Gaming is a serious hobby. It becomes SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Too serious.

Many many rampant crimes are committed due to the seriousness which gaming now commands. Eventually you are murdered by the parents of the 12-year-old you were trash-talking on CoD.

I wish for someone to corrupt my wish.

I am definitely NOT corrupting your wish to corrupt your wish.

I wish I didn't have to work and still get paid.

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I am definitely NOT corrupting your wish to corrupt your wish.

I wish I didn't have to work and still get paid.

You get paid to do nothing. LITERALLY nothing. If you do anything more than blink, pee, and eat occasionally, you lose your job.

I wish for the ability sneeze out of other people's noses.

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You get paid to do nothing. LITERALLY nothing. If you do anything more than blink, pee, and eat occasionally, you lose your job.

You wished for nothing. You get everything, delivered by our fleet of express transport planes. First up: the world's combined stock of nuclear weaponry.

I wish I'd stop procrastinating and do my homework.

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You wished for nothing. You get everything, delivered by our fleet of express transport planes. First up: the world's combined stock of nuclear weaponry.

I wish I'd stop procrastinating and do my homework.

You suddenly become consumed with the desire to not procrastinate anything. Fueled with the thirst for productivity, you work yourself to death. After all, why sleep now when you can work more and sleep later?

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