I've won a couple slam-poetry contests (just at bars, nothing serious). I'll see if i can dig them up.
EDIT: Ahah! Found this in a folder."
"WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THE GIRL" - Alexandrija Bellamy
Social anxiety.
Noun. The discomfort or fear of interaction with other people.
Introversion. Shyness. The feeling of being put on a stage with the spotlight shining and
you've forgotten all of the lines of your part.
When I was six
I moved from Hue, Vietnam to a city in Britain. Carlisle.
And on the first day of preschool
I came home crying because
How are you supposed to make friends when all you can say is
"Hello" and "Nice to meet you"
We moved a year later.
I never made any friends.
My first panic attack was in seventh grade,
my first day at a new school and
what do you say to the girl who freaks
out in the middle of chemistry and starts
crying, sobbing, into her notes because
the world started closing in on her and
she can't breathe? And the teacher is standing still,
pale because how often does this happen in middle class Montreal?
And what do you say to the girl who you've invited to a party
about a dozen times but she never R.S.V.P.s,
And what do you say to the girl who walks out of
the elevator
as soon as you enter, her face hidden from your view but you can hear
her muffled apology.
What do you say to the girl who cannot look
you in the face when you interview
her for the job she's overqualified for
because she's got too much time at home
Alone.
Do you tell her it's OK? Do you tell her you understand? Or do you shut up
and mind your business and secretly file her away as
a story to tell your friends over lunch, to chat about,
to marvel.
I've learned to deal with my anxiety.
I can order at a restaurant,
I've started going out more.
I can answer the phone - most of the time
But it's always scared me. It still scares me. It will
never stop scaring me.