Project Red doesn't just replace the things in RedPower, it completely reimpliments RedPower as a whole.
Also, if you're looking for frames, check out Redstone in Motion.
I'm sure the moderators would be pleased if you read the rules.
As for the modpack, I don't know of one like that, but if you cant find it you could always try making your own, it's not hard.
So when you start the server you get
like normal but something goes wrong? I'm no expert but if you post everything that shows up in the console I may be able to help.
That is the Technic pack. It was singleplayer only because before Minecraft 1.3 there had to be a separate mod for installing on the server which many of the mods in Technic did not provide.
You're bound to run into trouble when 2 programs are trying to access one file at the same time. You're probably going to have to settle for one instance.
You could maybe try having 2 install locations.
A is easy, use an EU splitter cable. When it gets a Redstone signal it cuts off the power.
B is a little trickier, but it's still possible. The way I'd do it is with a pressure pad at the doorway hooked up to a toggle latch.