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Posted

You can't die, nor can any part of you. Your organs are stolen and sold to sick patients. Your brain is left in a dark alley forever, indestructible but with nothing attached.

I wish my little brother wouldn't use my Technic Forums account to make posts like number 523 in this thread. (I fixed it now, it wasn't up to my standards before. Okamikk has the old version in his quote.)

Posted

He no longer posts on the forums, he just changes your password without telling you.

I wish I could get my account on the Blitzkrieg-mod official forums validated by a moderator so I can post there.

Posted

It is validated by a moderator. You discover that the forums are devoted entirely to the discussion of obscure details of the Mongolian tax code.

I wish to know all the cheat codes for real life.

Posted

It bites your sister.

Depending on how theprolo views his sibs, that might not be corrupted.

You get to know so much that the volume of lore fills your brain to capacity and you become a vegetable while your brain processes all the new info. During this time, theprolos new moose eats your vegetable body.

I wish for fun.

Posted

You get kicked from the server of life for cheating.

I wish to have a pet moose.

You get me, and I eat all your food.

I wish for fun.

There are many definitions of 'fun'. You got some creepy guy's version of it, and now you run around town in your underwear screaming "WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS?"

I wish for more food.

Posted

You get me, and I eat all your food.

There are many definitions of 'fun'. You got some creepy guy's version of it, and now you run around town in your underwear screaming "WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS?"

I wish for more food.

you get 500 bananas, 499 of them are laced with arsenic. you must eat one within the next five minutes or you get exploded. good luck.

i wish for a new body that cannot be stolen ever

Posted

you get 500 bananas, 499 of them are laced with arsenic. you must eat one within the next five minutes or you get exploded. good luck.

i wish for a new body that cannot be stolen ever

You (in your new body) encounter the ultimate thief globsnarker475, who tries to steal your body, finds out that it cant be stolen, and decides to steal your mind instead

Wish= A ziptie to ziptie all the zipties of the world into the ultimate ziptie structure of ziptieness

Posted

You decide to ziptie yourself to your desk

I wish that I had gravity powers

granted. Newton comes back from the dead and uses HIS gravity powers to murderize your face. He then dies from apple impalement.

I wish that i saw red and green reversed, so that, to me, red was green, and green was red. However, i was taught that what i saw as red was actually green and green was red.

Posted

You do this. Then you learn that you learned wrong. This causes you to doubt everything you've ever learned. Your mind is blown, literally.

I wish that people would chill out and not overreact to every rumor and lie that is spewed from the mouths of the incompetent.

Posted

You do this. Then you learn that you learned wrong. This causes you to doubt everything you've ever learned. Your mind is blown, literally.

I wish that people would chill out and not overreact to every rumor and lie that is spewed from the mouths of the incompetent.

granted. people now instantly drop to absolute zero when in the presence of a rumor or lie from the mouths of the incompetent

i wish i had a nonmechanical, nonelectric toaster

Posted

Your toaster is made out of a lava casing with the heating irons made out of the core of a type O star. Your toast is burnt, badly.

I wish for parents who have a good balance of normal and wierd.

Posted

Your toaster is made out of a lava casing with the heating irons made out of the core of a type O star. Your toast is burnt, badly.

I wish for parents who have a good balance of normal and wierd.

Granted. However, since this interrupts the balance of the universe, mountain bear mounted fleas and rats commanding banana boat riding carrot eating Silver Iodide creating Morgan Freeman wants YOU, to be smited.

wish: to be a mountain bear mounted fleas and rats commanding banana boat riding carrot eating Silver Iodide creating badass

Posted

Granted. You fall off the banana boats and forget who you are. You convince yourself you are a circus clown, who likes to lock herself (you also convince yourself, despite contradictory evidence, you are a girl) into the trunk of the tiny cars your troop rides in.

I wish you could get all the original Pokemon in the newer generations.

Posted

Granted. You fall off the banana boats and forget who you are. You convince yourself you are a circus clown, who likes to lock herself (you also convince yourself, despite contradictory evidence, you are a girl) into the trunk of the tiny cars your troop rides in.

I wish you could get all the original Pokemon in the newer generations.

Granted, but they are all bugged so they are all identified as lvl -1 pokemon so you cannot control their actions during battles.

Wish: a slightly duller, more worn out version of my upper right window (avatar pic)

Posted

Granted, but Grand Master Chief decides your nose is a little to far to the right. He burns your face off with a Spartan laser.

I wish that Dr. Who's new season would be played on American TV.

Posted

Granted, but Grand Master Chief decides your nose is a little to far to the right. He burns your face off with a Spartan laser.

I wish that Dr. Who's new season would be played on American TV.

Granted but it turns out the series is awful and millions of Americans die from disappointment.

I wish that my Internet was half decent.

Posted

Granted but it turns out the series is awful and millions of Americans die from disappointment.

I wish that my Internet was half decent.

Okay, you now always get middling broadband connection everywhere you go, but the rest of the world always get blazing connection speeds all the time.

I wish I can change my gender at will.

Posted

Okay, you now always get middling broadband connection everywhere you go, but the rest of the world always get blazing connection speeds all the time.

I wish I can change my gender at will.

Your constant gender changes make your genitals explode leaving you genderless.

I wish I was the greatest coder in the world

Posted

Oh, so you're the greatest coder in the world? Could you change Minecraft so that all the mods from every version would work together? You say it would take decades? Well, now is the perfect time to start! Get to work!

I wish I could play Minecraft instead of doing homework.

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