Corrupt-a-wish

[dwwojcik]

You get noclip, and are promptly sucked down through the ground until you reach the center of the world. Because you cannot touch anything, you cannot escape.

I wish for a paradox created by a paradox that was murdered by its future self.

Hey now, I didn't ask to be outside of physics entirely! Noclip like in Garry's Mod. You can fly around and stuff.

Paradoxes arent living things, so they can't be murdered. Now you have 2 paradoxes. My, quite paradoxical! It destroys the world and you die.

I wish that I would win the PowerBall. (The multi-million lottery here in Illinois)

[theprolo]

You win a cannonball being launched towards you with the help of a large amount of power.

I wish that dwwojcik couldn't recognise, use or even notice the letter "b".

[dwwojcik]

My favorite letter is B. B, b, bbbb, BBBbbbBBBbbb, etc. B is the best letter, it's the bomb.

I wish I could understand "Section 1.10 Modeling with Functions" despite my teacher not being here and the sub being all set-and-forget.

[Dentcat]

Your brain spontaneously combusts under knowing this.

I wish simcity servers would work

[dwwojcik]

The SimCity servers come back online, for a final 48 hour segment before they are shut down permanently.

I wish anaphase was easier to find on a slide.

[Dentcat]

You found anaphase on a slide! You pat yourself on the back while everyone mutters about you going crazy over a perfectly normal thing.

I wish i lived in Tehran

[planetguy]

You lived in Tehran in 1979, and were one of the hostages in the Iranian Hostage Crisis.

I wish for more programming ability.

[Amaxter]

Your programming ability becomes too powerful and you end up sparking a nuclear war between the US and Russia when you accidentally activate missile launch codes in a video game.

I wish that I had a pair of Atsro A40's.

[palden1810]

You receive your Atsro A40's....... Years after you died of a fire

 

I wish that I had the best internet in the world!

[awesomesauce900]

Your internet turns out to be bad and your modern explodes.

 

I wish for games to take up less space!

[palden1810]

Wish granted! You get a free copy of Dwarf Fortress, and all other games are permanently exiled.

 

I wish I was better at playing DOTA2

[dwwojcik]

You are so good at Dota 2 that other players think you're cheating.  You end up banned from any game you try and join.

 

I wish Mini-Sentries were even more OP could be repaired.

[palden1810]

Wish granted! But a bug happens where after you repair your mini-sentry your whole game is corrupted and you have to uninstall and reinstall TF2 again

 

I wish that my computer had 12 GB of RAM!

[rcmaehl]

Wish granted! But a bug happens where after you repair your mini-sentry your whole game is corrupted and you have to uninstall and reinstall TF2 again

 

I wish that my computer had 12 GB of RAM!

 

Wish granted, but your RAM suffers from being exposed to an electrostatic discharge, you can't go 5 minutes without a Blue Screen or Kernel Panic.

 

I wish I had -1 wishes, because, you know, science.

Edited March 3, 2014 by rcmaehl

[awesomejackoman]

 

 

I wish I had -1 wishes, because, you know, science.

Wish granted, but now you've caused an impossible occurrence, causing the universe to undo the event to keep itself intact. 

 

I wish for my troops in XCOM not to panic.

Edited March 3, 2014 by awesomejackoman

[palden1810]

Wish granted! Instead they die.

 

I wish that I had a portable black hole!

[TetraD]

Your wish is granted!, you have a portable black hole, but you get stuck in it forever!

 

I wish my text wasnt this color O_O

Edited March 11, 2014 by TetraD

[theprolo]

Your text becomes Octarine, and so nobody can read a anything you try to say.

I wish I could get all my diamonds from Minecraft in real life

[nyny2121]

Your wish comes true, and then you realize that diamonds are common and are relatively cheap unless the jewelry store scam artists mark them up to insane prices.

 

I wish to be immortal.

[planetguy]

An infinitely-skilled medic follows you around, to ensure you don't die. Unfortunately for you, he's very lazy and doesn't let you do anything that could cause you to get hurt (in other words, he doesn't let you do anything).

 

I wish I had a supercomputer.

[dwwojcik]

You have a supercomputer, but they don't run Windows. Or Linux. And of course not OSX. So what can you use it for? Nothing, of course.

I wish I had an australium wrench.

[planetguy]

The Australian government steals it while you're asleep and you're never seen again.

 

I wish for any string of characters to be valid, meaningful English.

[dwwojcik]

The English vocabulary is extended from an already substantial tens of thousands of words to effectively infinite. Nobody can know that many words, so all the extras simply serve to complicate dictionaries and grammar rules.

I wish I had a credit card I could never lose possesion of that has unlimited inexhaustible funds.

[planetguy]

Your credit card has a balance of infinity, which causes an integer overflow bug when your card is credited for something you returned. Your card now has a balance of negative infinity.

 

I wish I would get off these forums and do my homework.

[theprolo]

An exclusive modpack containing several incredible, never seen before mods which only exist in that pack becomes available for an hour while you are off doing homework. You are the only person who doesn't get it.

 

I wish I could make lemonade with oranges.