Corrupt-a-wish

[theprolo]

A passing teacher notices you have so much time, and assigns extra homework lasting for years. You eventually get crushed by the untamed masses of wretches who you had been sent to wrench to save the world. Your name goes down in history as Bob, because they can't remember your name.

I wish that the letter o and a were switched around.

[aj45]

A passing teacher notices you have so much time, and assigns extra homework lasting for years. You eventually get crushed by the untamed masses of wretches who you had been sent to wrench to save the world. Your name goes down in history as Bob, because they can't remember your name.

I wish that the letter o and a were switched around.

Yau reolize thot everything wauld be reolly onnaying ta reod ond ore driven mod.

I wish I cauld understond oll farms af cammunicotian.

[okamikk]

Yau reolize thot everything wauld be reolly onnaying ta reod ond ore driven mod.

I wish I cauld understond oll farms af cammunicotian.

your wish for farms was taken by an extremely snobby wish granting genie and he made you a sack full of potatoes that was then sent to the paper factory for whatever reason

i wish for the ultimate power..... THE BANHAMMER, however i do not wish to be banned, so pass it handle first

[planetguy]

You receive the handle of THE BANHAMMER first. A minute later, when you turn your head, you receive THE BANHAMMER's actual head. Delivered to the back of your cranium. You wake up ten minutes later, with a splitting headache and feeling quite banned.

I wish for awesome shell scripting skills.

[Adlersch]

You receive the handle of THE BANHAMMER first. A minute later, when you turn your head, you receive THE BANHAMMER's actual head. Delivered to the back of your cranium. You wake up ten minutes later, with a splitting headache and feeling quite banned.

I wish for awesome shell scripting skills.

Granted: Your shell scripting skills are awesome. But also your computer exploded in a freak accident, causing you to go into a deep coma from which you shall never return.

I wish for... A loyal minion.

[lukeb28]

You get okamikk.

I wish to take over the world before Adlersch!

[Adlersch]

You get okamikk.

I wish to take over the world before Adlersch!

Granted: You take over the world before me, and pave the way for me to kill you and take the world over more easily. Thanks for doing all the dirty work.

I wish my minion wasn't okamikk.

[theprolo]

Okamikk runs away from home secret lair, leaving you with no minions. You commit suicide shortly after due to depression caused by loneliness.

I wish the Keller logo flashed different colours faster than it already does - four times a second.

[jonjon1234]

Granted. The flashing colours give you a epileptic fit.

I wish that Modders were not so uptight about permissions.

[Adlersch]

Granted: Modders are not uptight about permissions, open/closed source, or even who distributes their mod at all. Soon after the internet was flooded with false mod distributors, and the modders themselves do not distribute their own mods. Soon you find yourself having to pay for reliable mod distributors or get a virus-infested mod.

I wish I could cook.

[lukeb28]

You learn how to cook so well that you become the next Iron Chef! You crushed your opponent so totally that you never want to do anything but cook and charge stupid amounts of money for a plate of food to billionaires and you stop imposing your will around the globe. You no longer rule the world.

I wish that I came back to life as that happened and took your place at the thrown!

[planetguy]

Instead of Adlersch being thrown across the room, it is your now-reanimated body. You die on impact.

I wish the Technic platform could use custom zips over existing modpacks, to avoid making me distribute all of Tekkit Lite just to add 4 mods.

[jonjon1234]

It can already, therefore the wish genie drops the Technic Platform on your head. Platform being the servers hosting it.

I wish that modern were not so uptight about permissions with the Technic Team. (Ie. They don't give a shit what we do, but they do about others.)

[planetguy]

Modders now allow anyone to use any mod. Some people bundle ALL the mods together and decide it would be a great idea to share their modpack with people. Not just the people who chance by their forum thread, but every Minecrafter in the world. They send the least idiotic idiot to break into Mojang's download servers, which they use to push their modpack to all Minecraft users. This probably sounds great, but for completeness I should add that their modpack was so awesome that they HAD to share it with the world before doing any other minor task, such as... testing their modpack.

I wish for a machine that could instantly create any computer program, written in any language, that I ask it for.

[TPlemur]

You get the machine in all its splendor! its amazing! its stupendous! Best of all it has no input!!

I wish for an easier way to type on my nexus seven

One of planetguys wishes just got granted his bro (me) got a forum account

[RSCurious]

You get a bottle of orange.

I wish for my tumble drier to stop burning my clothes.

Your clothes are fine, but your house burns instead.

I wish we could all have steak.

[M-C]

Your clothes are fine, but your house burns instead.

I wish we could all have steak.

Everyone decides to become a vegetarian,

I wish I finally got Monster Hunter Tri Ultimate pre-ordered.

EDIT:

First ninja! :3

[theprolo]

A steak lands on everybody's head. Unfortunately, this steak contains strange never before discovered bacteria which eat any head they come into contact with. People wearing hats at the time of the great steak massacre walk over your grave over and over again to ruin your life - you constantly have the feeling that someone's walking on your grave for a reason, you know.

M-C, your game which I CBA to write the name of contains a strange never before discovered bacteria which eat any games console they come into contact with. They also eat your brains, turning you into a zombie. The government sees that your zombification was vaguely related to gaming and ban games. People jump on your grave.

I wish I was less lazy.

[M-C]

A steak lands on everybody's head. Unfortunately, this steak contains strange never before discovered bacteria which eat any head they come into contact with. People wearing hats at the time of the great steak massacre walk over your grave over and over again to ruin your life - you constantly have the feeling that someone's walking on your grave for a reason, you know.

M-C, your game which I CBA to write the name of contains a strange never before discovered bacteria which eat any games console they come into contact with. They also eat your brains, turning you into a zombie. The government sees that your zombification was vaguely related to gaming and ban games. People jump on your grave.

I wish I was less lazy.

You're less lazy, this wish is corrupted because I just ninja'd you.

I wish for 60 bucks. (to actually be able to pre-order the damn thing.)

[theprolo]

Surely you ninja'ing me is a symptom of laziness, not a lack of it. I demand a re-corruption!

[M-C]

Surely you ninja'ing me is a symptom of laziness, not a lack of it. I demand a re-corruption!

You end up trying to make a trip around the world because you don't want to lie on the couch. You die in the north pole and your intestines get eaten by penguins (those decide to go and live in the north pole)

[theprolo]

That's better.

Your car breaks down and you lose Internet,co you decide to ride a horse to a friends house to use his Internet to pre-order "the damn thing". You get bucked 60 times on the way to his house. You reach your friends house battered and bruised only to find that there is nothing called "the damn thing" available to pre-order. You crawl home to save yourself from the pain of horse bucking.

I wish I could turn plastic into ice cream at will.

[lukeb28]

You get the gift that anything you touch that is plastic turns it into ice cream at your will. Your gift then becomes annoyed when you don't use it as often so it takes off from your body and moves west. There it gets a job as an ice cream man thingy and his life seems completed. After a few months of this however, he starts to hate ice cream from handling it so much and his contract with the ice cream mafia prevents him from leaving until his one year term is up. During this time he begins to blame you for conjuring him up in this humble little thread and starts to conspire again you. The law find his plans and lock him up for planing to commit murder. During his time in prison, he creates an anti ice cream cult and gets many followers. Soon his followers break him out and he seeks to destroy you now.

He wants to make you suffer for what was done to him so he drowns your family and friends in vats of melted ice cream. During this, his followers start to shut down every ice cream manufacturer in the world, cutting us off from ice cream. The first to go is cookies and cream.

You run for your life across the county and word gets out that you are to blame for the ice cream shortage and are shunned from every town you come to. The ice cream man thing gift, finds you and has you kidnapped and killed but dumping the last barrel of melted ice cream down your mouth and you choke on the last bit of ice cream in the world.

I wish to find Quantum.

[okamikk]

<snip>

wish to find Quantum.

since there is no such thing as just "quantum", you get used underpants.

i wish that i was immortal and GlaDos was my friend

[jonjon1234]

GLaDOS becomes corrupt, locking you in a cage for the rest of your life. The only contact with the outside world is Gaben and THIS video. Enjoy your immortality now, stuck in this cage.

I wish for cookies. About 5.