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Posted

Oh, so you're the greatest coder in the world? Could you change Minecraft so that all the mods from every version would work together? You say it would take decades? Well, now is the perfect time to start! Get to work!

I wish I could play Minecraft instead of doing homework.

You play minecraft in the time it would take to finish your homework, but you're assigned 800 years worth of homework, leaving you stuck playing Minecraft, dying of dehydration, and causing a mass power outage that spans the entire world, plunging it into a technologic and economic crisis, eventually leading to the world becoming a corporatocracy, with every corporation stuck in an endless war, caused by a time loop which was caused by a space-time anomaly 800 light years away.

I wish that I was the immortal dictator of the world.

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Posted

Granted: You are the immortal dictator of the world, but everyone else dies in a massive civil war. You are the dictator of a world with nobody in it but yourself.

I wish I had a bigger evil lair.

Posted

Granted: You are the immortal dictator of the world, but everyone else dies in a massive civil war. You are the dictator of a world with nobody in it but yourself.

I wish I had a bigger evil lair.

Your evil lair contains a TARDIS which explodes, resetting the universe and making you start your evil career all over again.

I wish that everyone's wish was a wish that would directly or indirectly benefit me.

Posted

The wish granting genies make a mistake, every one's wish benefits you. Unfortunately, ones cannot make wishes.

I wish the wish granting genies made more mistakes.

Posted

The wish granting genies make a mistake, every one's wish benefits you. Unfortunately, ones cannot make wishes.

I wish the wish granting genies made more mistakes.

The genies make more mistakes, but one of those mistakes killed you and your family.

I wish that there were no dumbasses in the world and a balanced amount of normal people, smart people, and really smart people.

Posted

Compared to the really smart people, all the normal people look like dumbasses to the wish-granting genies. They are eliminated, and now the smart people look like dumbasses and are eliminated. The cycle repeats until only one person survives, who promptly commits suicide out of loneliness.

I wish my family came back to life as if the wish-granting accident had never happened.

Posted

Compared to the really smart people, all the normal people look like dumbasses to the wish-granting genies. They are eliminated, and now the smart people look like dumbasses and are eliminated. The cycle repeats until only one person survives, who promptly commits suicide out of loneliness.

I wish my family came back to life as if the wish-granting accident had never happened.

They come back to life, but they're all pissed off and grumpy as if being woken from a deep sleep.

I wish for true happiness.

Posted

They come back to life, but they're all pissed off and grumpy as if being woken from a deep sleep.

I wish for true happiness.

You're truly happy - for one minute of your life. The rest of them eventually depress you and so you commit suicide.

I wish for one more wish.

Posted

You're truly happy - for one minute of your life. The rest of them eventually depress you and so you commit suicide.

I wish for one more wish.

you get one more wish, on the condition that the wish is for your genitals to implode

i wish for prolo to choke on the comdey, causing his cranium to impact a high density material at high velocity

Posted

you get one more wish, on the condition that the wish is for your genitals to implode

i wish for prolo to choke on the comdey, causing his cranium to impact a high density material at high velocity

Done. What, not ALL wishes have to be corrupted to be funny.

I wish for the power to implode the genitals of anyone I choose, at any distance.

Posted

Granted: The high density material is your skull. You are now both dead.

I wish for a new raygun.

:ninja:

your new raygun creates a singularity when you fired it after trying to modify it, i heard spaggetification can be quite enjoyable

i wish for the wrench to wrench the wretches that make me retch

Posted

Ok. Two wishes, two corruptions. From beyond the grave, too!

Adlersch: your new raygun gets sucked in by the gravity of a mysterious ultra-high density material nearby. You cling onto it and are sucked in with it. You are now dead too.

Lethosos: You miss, and explode your own genitals instead.

I wish for...

A toy lion.

Posted

Granted: You now have a toy lion. You are also dead, however, and cannot enjoy it in any way, shape, or form. You're not even allowed to look at it because it has a cross scratched onto one of its paws.

I wish to be alive again - not undead, alive.

Posted

Ok. Two wishes, two corruptions. From beyond the grave, too!

Adlersch: your new raygun gets sucked in by the gravity of a mysterious ultra-high density material nearby. You cling onto it and are sucked in with it. You are now dead too.

Lethosos: You miss, and explode your own genitals instead.

I wish for...

A toy lion.

er... dude? youkindamissedsumthing...

Posted

There are way too many ninjas in this post... I wrote that at the same time you posted. Fortunately, you were Ninja'd too.

You are alive again, but it takes the life force of everyone else on the planet to do it. You are now the only living person in the world, everyone else is just braindead zombies.

I wish to be a braindead zombie.

Posted

There are way too many ninjas in this post... I wrote that at the same time you posted. Fortunately, you were Ninja'd too.

You are alive again, but it takes the life force of everyone else on the planet to do it. You are now the only living person in the world, everyone else is just braindead zombies.

I wish to be a braindead zombie.

you braindead zombie moves near the singularity adlresch's raygun produced, spaggetification for you!

i wish i had my mind back, and that it was impossible to steal anything that i own

Posted

Granted. While you were mindless, however, it was all stolen and you now own nothing. Plus, anything you get in the future will be legal for anyone to take. Ergo, it won't be stolen.

I wish people didn't misspell my name horribly.

Edit:

vYou are alive again, but it takes the life force of everyone else on the planet to do it. You are now the only living person in the world, everyone else is just braindead zombies

So my dream of conquering and/or enslaving all life on Earth is complete! I am okay with this outcome.

Posted

Addlearshuush: People start spelling it even worse now.

I wish for the ability to not get sidetracked when I have homework to do!

Posted

Granted: You now have homework to do forever, and you are singlemindedly focused on it, incapable of getting distracted or otherwise diverting conscious thought away from it.

I wish I had mac n cheese right now.

Posted

Granted: You now have homework to do forever, and you are singlemindedly focused on it, incapable of getting distracted or otherwise diverting conscious thought away from it.

I wish I had mac n cheese right now.

the mac'n'cheese is infested with brain parasites that make you their slave the moment you eat any of it, it is a damn good mac'n'cheese though

i wish for the wrench to wrench the wretches that make me retch

Posted

You get a wrench that can wrench wretches. Anyone with a wretch they need wrenched now sends the wretch to you.

I wish IndustrialCraft machines were easier to reposition without risking their continued existence.

Posted

Granted: All IndustrialCraft machines are easier to reposition without destroying them. Life is good for a while. However IndustrialCraft is now renamed AdlerschCraft and all machines explode and crash your world permanently if you try to reposition them at all.

I wish I didn't have a splinter.

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