Corrupt-a-wish

[Dled]

The wish-granting genies decide that about 5 can be 0. They give you zero cookies. However, the universe is unpleased about them giving you a non existent thing (because to give something, you need to give a thing). The universe implodes. And explodes. At the same time. It hurts. A lot.

I wish for exactly 5 cookies which are 2 cm in radius, as close as humanly possible to circular (but still in 3 dimensional space), and which appear in the cupboard in the house I am currently in, in a box which I can open. I can open the cupboard too. The cookies are not poisoned or poisonous (or venomous). I would be even more specific but effort.

[okamikk]

The wish-granting genies decide that about 5 can be 0. They give you zero cookies. However, the universe is unpleased about them giving you a non existent thing (because to give something, you need to give a thing). The universe implodes. And explodes. At the same time. It hurts. A lot.

I wish for exactly 5 cookies which are 2 cm in radius, as close as humanly possible to circular (but still in 3 dimensional space), and which appear in the cupboard in the house I am currently in, in a box which I can open. I can open the cupboard too. The cookies are not poisoned or poisonous (or venomous). I would be even more specific but effort.

the cookies are one atom thick

i wish that i could phaze through solid objects, but only when i wanted to.

[Dled]

You are able to insult things through solid objects. Yay you!

I scream, you scream we all scream for icecream. However, in this case scream means wish.

[okamikk]

You are able to insult things through solid objects. Yay you!

I scream, you scream we all scream for icecream. However, in this case scream means wish.

phasing is passing through things, try again( phaze, as far as i know, is the standard form of phasing)

[theprolo]

the cookies are one atom thick

i wish that i could phaze through solid objects, but only when i wanted to.

Ok then.

Your mind wanders while you're half way through a wall. Ouch. Your remains are found fossilised somehow in the wall by archaeologists thousands of years later. They laugh at you for no apparent reason, as is the custom in the future.

I wish for a horse burger.

[jonjon1234]

I ate it, sorry...

I wish for a girlfriend who likes "geeks" as I seem to spend too much time coding.

[okamikk]

I ate it, sorry...

I wish for a girlfriend who likes "geeks" as I seem to spend too much time coding.

you get a girlfriend who likes "geeks"... she's an AI

i wish for millions of tiny needles to be spread out throughout my bedroom ( see this for the general idea )

[jonjon1234]

you get a girlfriend who likes "geeks"... she's an AI

i wish for millions of tiny needles to be spread out throughout my bedroom ( see this for the general idea )

(Yay AI sex )

They are all attached to the ceiling of your bedroom. But then you put a bag down, causing a block update so they all fall on your head/face.

I wish for... Um... I wish for. To be able to finish my Short Horror Story.

[warpspeed10]

You soon realize that the real horror is in your impenetrable, disabling, all enveloping writers block. Your story is about writing this awful story.

I wish Captain Hammer wasn't such a douche.

[Aritchey]

Captain Hammer stops being a douche because all of it transfers to you instead!

I wish for a piece of pie

[okamikk]

Captain Hammer stops being a douche because all of it transfers to you instead!

I wish for a piece of pie

the piece of pie has a rat inside it, and the rat bites you the moment you try to eat the cakes, giving you an untreatable strand of the bubonic plague

i wish for nothing, and everything.

[planetguy]

You get nothing and everything at the same time. This is accomplished by transmuting everything (the entire universe) to nothing and giving it to you.

I wish people would stop wishing for food. It isn't very original anymore.

[LazDude2012]

Granted, but everyone now wishes for beverages instead.

I wish for a vodka martini: shaken, not stirred.

[theprolo]

The world is struck by a food crisis, and the only way to stop it is for the wish-granting genies to feed the world. Unfortunately, nobody can wish for food anymore. Everyone turns to cannibalism, and guess who they eat first?

Your family.

Then your friends.

Then all the people you ever met.

Then all the people you ever saw.

Then everybody within 50 miles of you.

Then they chain you up in a dark basement and leave you there forever.

What, did you expect them to eat you? The food crisis was solved while they were doing all that, they just did it out of spite.

EDIT: Ninja'd. Mine was better though

LazDude: You get a picture of a vodka martini, which is shaken rather than having a spoon viciously ripped through it. You then get forced to eat the paper for no apparent reason by an alien which abducts you.

I wish for an extra day in the weekend

[Torezu]

I wish for an extra day in the weekend

You receive your extra day in the weekend by way of unpaid leave from your job, once a week.

I wish for a new avatar to be delivered to me so I don't have to make the effort to hunt one down.

[okamikk]

the new avatar is that of the pink squishy baby-head

i wish to be able to transmute nothing into anything.

[LazDude2012]

Granted, but you lose all 5 senses.

I wish for more wishes.

[Markarthian]

You receive your extra day in the weekend by way of unpaid leave from your job, once a week.

I wish for a new avatar to be delivered to me so I don't have to make the effort to hunt one down.

Granted, but as look at the picture, you realize It's so ugly, your brain explodes.

I wish I get an awesome idea for a mod, that is actually within my modding capabilities.

[okamikk]

Granted, but you lose all 5 senses.

I wish for more wishes.

your wish for more wishes is granted, but all wishes from you from now on must be that you wish for dried fish-sticks

i wish for my hearing to be better than any creature anywhere's

[LazDude2012]

Granted, but in the opposite way you'd think. All creatures, everywhere, become deaf, and you become able to hear 1Hz tones.

I apparently wish for dried fish sticks and world peace.

[planetguy]

Markarthian, your idea: vanilla minecraft (a great idea relative to other games). Good thing too, because your modding skills vanished. The wish genies needed part them because apparently there aren't enough obsidian tool mods, and they were clumsy enough to take all of them.

LazDude2012, your fish sticks are prepared so deliciously that World War 3 breaks out over who gets to eat them. It isn't you.

I wish I could write code completely free of bugs.

[jonjon1234]

Granted, you cannot write code.

I wish to understand coding tables/arrays.

[Markarthian]

Granted, you cannot write code.

I wish to understand coding tables/arrays.

you find out they are really easy (which they are!) but, on your way of writing one down, your brain realizes you're making progress and explodes.

I wish to learn how to use NBT data.

[planetguy]

You discover that NBT is actually using you as a method of self-replication.

I wish to learn how to change data in the Minecraft protocol with Forge mods.

[LizDiggory]

Just as you figure it out, every computer you touch instantly dies and never works again.

I wish I had my own computer.