Idiot Superstar thread of the week - Help him find his bits!

[Cheap Shot]

OP. To determine the bit count of your system you'll need a set of screwdrivers and a good work space. You'll need to take the case off everything and count how many parts have been installed to your motherboard. These are called "bits". Many only have 32, but they've managed to reduce the size of the bits and most newer systems can fit 64 on the board.

[N00bKefka]

OP. To determine the bit count of your system you'll need a set of screwdrivers and a good work space. You'll need to take the case off everything and count how many parts have been installed to your motherboard. These are called "bits". Many only have 32, but they've managed to reduce the size of the bits and most newer systems can fit 64 on the board.

Seems legit.

[MephistosChan]

OP. To determine the bit count of your system you'll need a set of screwdrivers and a good work space. You'll need to take the case off everything and count how many parts have been installed to your motherboard. These are called "bits". Many only have 32, but they've managed to reduce the size of the bits and most newer systems can fit 64 on the board.

I am really surprised at you for spouting this old wives tale. It's not only misleading but damaging to the community.

In fact the term 'bit' goes back to about the same time as the word 'bug' and has a related origin.

The first bug was reputed to be an insect that caused a short circuit in one of the early computers and got fried for its trouble whilst causing the program to crash.

What is not so widely known is that the insect was from the coat of a poorly disinfected hamster used to power the computer. The hamster was harnessed into the power supply and controlled using a 'bit' in the same way as horses are today. As the need for computing power increased so did the the number of hamsters but due to problems with balancing the rapidly spinning hamster wheels it was realised that the number of hamster positions (now known as 'bits') had to be increased as powers of 2. Hence 8, 16, 32 and 64 bit architecture.

These days hamsters are only used to power the largest of set ups and are still widely used in server farms, where there is a growing problem of the heat generated from all these sweaty little rodents. Home PC's are powered by other, smaller animals, each breed being unique to a specific manufacturer and are highly secret. The very existence of these animals is frequently denied to prevent trouble with animal rights activists.

As a final point, there is only 1 'popular' brand of computer that doesn't use animal power, obviously this is the 'Apple' which is apple powered, which is why they're shit.

[gassy_lobster]

This thread is killing me. Please don't stop!

[HoJo3]

Nothing brightens my day/mood more reading these posts! keep up the good humor guys this is priceless! Thanx

[Sheldor]

Someone needs to make an Internet album of forums like these.

[Don Serrot]

I am really surprised at you for spouting this old wives tale. It's not only misleading but damaging to the community.

In fact the term 'bit' goes back to about the same time as the word 'bug' and has a related origin.

The first bug was reputed to be an insect that caused a short circuit in one of the early computers and got fried for its trouble whilst causing the program to crash.

What is not so widely known is that the insect was from the coat of a poorly disinfected hamster used to power the computer. The hamster was harnessed into the power supply and controlled using a 'bit' in the same way as horses are today. As the need for computing power increased so did the the number of hamsters but due to problems with balancing the rapidly spinning hamster wheels it was realised that the number of hamster positions (now known as 'bits') had to be increased as powers of 2. Hence 8, 16, 32 and 64 bit architecture.

These days hamsters are only used to power the largest of set ups and are still widely used in server farms, where there is a growing problem of the heat generated from all these sweaty little rodents. Home PC's are powered by other, smaller animals, each breed being unique to a specific manufacturer and are highly secret. The very existence of these animals is frequently denied to prevent trouble with animal rights activists.

As a final point, there is only 1 'popular' brand of computer that doesn't use animal power, obviously this is the 'Apple' which is apple powered, which is why they're shit.

This is the most true thing I have seen all day! I'm so glad to see there are quite a few enlightened and knowledgeable people on this forum! :D

[xTheAngrySockx]

Long live the internet!

[miniboxer]

Re: Wont Open

mate im not a noob i probaly know more bout computers than you but when i try to use the jar file for both my mac and windows it doesnt work

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no.

QUICK, IDENTIFY WHAT A BASH FILE IS, AND WHAT THE OPENING COMMAND IS!

[Lear85]

Bits, eh? You're all wrong. Computers are composed of many bits and bobs. The bits can be a large assortment of things, be it duck feathers, FlowerChild's excrement, or any other number of random items. If you only have 32 bits, you need to defenestrate your computer from at least 2 stories up. It will catch plenty of bits on the way down. But your biggest concern is the under-appreciated bobs. Your Windows system runs using thousands of bobs. Technic uses exactly 33 and one half bobs. If you allocate any amount other than 33.5 bobs to the launcher, the launcher will promptly proceed to shit itself, produce a common error described in the stickies, and hinder your eyesight, thus preventing you from reading the stickies. Buy some new glasses, read the stickies again, defenestrate your computer, tune your ukulele, allocate 12 bobs to Technic, play an inning of baseball, allocate the other 11 and a half, run around in circles until you feel tired, and watch an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. If you do not have a ukulele to tune, you may borrow one from a friend. The ukulele is vital to this process however, and Technic is almost impossible to configure without it. By messing around with bits, bobs, and bitbobs, I was able to substitute the ukulele for my violin, but that's very advanced stuff. You probably couldn't figure that out without years of study. If this doesn't fix technic, then I doubt anything else will.

TL;DR summary: Det svenska språket är roligt och intressant.

[Don Serrot]

I found some bits for you, hope they help with getting a new toaster computer!

[MephistosChan]

Please do not listen the person above who recommends defenestration as a method of improving your computer. Fenestre is Latin for window, all this user is telling you to do is get rid of windows. This would harm the well-being of the hamsters or which ever small animal your computer manufacturer uses, it is an obvious and crass method of undermining the frankly astounding animal rights record of these machines. The animals that power your browsing and games playing should be treated with the same respect as guide dogs, rescue dogs and braille worms. YES, even Braille worms, those selfless creatures that headbutt dents into paper so the blind may read.

Hamsters have very few pleasures in life, apart from the knowledge of a job well doneand looking through windows is one of those. Do not take it away from them.

The other main pastime is watching the computer owner through the web cam whilst they watch porn. They have built up an extensive record of climax expressions and have published many theories on what they mean, in general these have been well received in such respected circles as Dr Phil and J, Springer. In an attempt to further their understanding they frequently swap these pictures and the data flow is believed to take up 98.3% of all internet traffic, with porn being a further 1.1%. and pictures of cats being 0.6%. No useful work was carried out to the limit of the testing.

[matthewtyson]

I honestly can't tell if the OP was trolling or not. I was laughing too hard at the rest of the thread to pay any real attention

[technomonkey76]

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having issues, Snowsdan. I also regret that these guys have been trolling you. Your issue is likely rooted in the fact that they're all lying, though Lear85 has some valid points. He is correct that Technic requires 33.5 bobs; no more, no less, and that an instrument is required to successfully launch the "Technic luncher." Windows tends to give programs only 32 bobs, and to fix this, you must rename C:\Windows\System32 to C:\Windows\System33.5. Your computer will likely ask for administrative permissions. Grant them, and reboot your computer before trying to run the "Technic luncher" again. It should work now.

EDIT: Oh, by the way, you must have a microphone and you'll need to play a 5C, tuned to be sharp by 23 cents exactly, on any string instrument while booting Windows, or Windows won't be happy using 33.5 bobs instead of 32.

[Valkon]

I found some bits for you, hope they help with getting a new toaster computer!

8 bits? What do you think this is, an NES? That's clearly not enough.

[jakj]

8 bits? What do you think this is, an NES? That's clearly not enough.

Come on, 8 bits is one whole dollar. You can buy a lot for a dollar.

[Valkon]

Come on, 8 bits is one whole dollar. You can buy a lot for a dollar.

Hm, true. Dollar Tree isn't too far from my house.

Not sure if they sell computer parts though. Let alone an upgrade kit including 64 hamsters with bundled hamster wheels and rotary generators.

[Don Serrot]

Don't forget the exchange rate! Equestria is a rich land, as long as the vendors aren't trying to rip you off you can get quite a few things with those 8 bits!

[miniboxer]

Please do not listen the person above who recommends defenestration as a method of improving your computer. Fenestre is Latin for window, all this user is telling you to do is get rid of windows. This would harm the well-being of the hamsters or which ever small animal your computer manufacturer uses, it is an obvious and crass method of undermining the frankly astounding animal rights record of these machines. The animals that power your browsing and games playing should be treated with the same respect as guide dogs, rescue dogs and braille worms. YES, even Braille worms, those selfless creatures that headbutt dents into paper so the blind may read.

Hamsters have very few pleasures in life, apart from the knowledge of a job well doneand looking through windows is one of those. Do not take it away from them.

The other main pastime is watching the computer owner through the web cam whilst they watch porn. They have built up an extensive record of climax expressions and have published many theories on what they mean, in general these have been well received in such respected circles as Dr Phil and J, Springer. In an attempt to further their understanding they frequently swap these pictures and the data flow is believed to take up 98.3% of all internet traffic, with porn being a further 1.1%. and pictures of cats being 0.6%. No useful work was carried out to the limit of the testing.

did you know that hamsters actually hate windows, and love lines? The windows thing is actually just propaganda spread by hamstersoft so that they can charge you a ton of money to put windows on your computer, only to have the hamsters still be unhappy and not loving their job. This is the cause of many computer errors, as the errors are often called "windows errors." This can be fixed by putting some lines on your computer, which is done by downloading the line drawing software known as linux, and then installing it on to your system. The hamsters will love you for this!

[Cheap Shot]

Don't forget the exchange rate! Equestria is a rich land, as long as the vendors aren't trying to rip you off you can get quite a few things with those 8 bits!

Hurr, gonna take this funny thread and try to make it about my stupid pony shit. I have no identity beyond being a fan of a children's show!

Leave the pony garbage to the left of your post instead of letting it expand right, into threads that have nothing to do with MLP.

[MephistosChan]

did you know that hamsters actually hate windows, and love lines? The windows thing is actually just propaganda spread by hamstersoft so that they can charge you a ton of money to put windows on your computer, only to have the hamsters still be unhappy and not loving their job. This is the cause of many computer errors, as the errors are often called "windows errors." This can be fixed by putting some lines on your computer, which is done by downloading the line drawing software known as linux, and then installing it on to your system. The hamsters will love you for this!

Hamsters doing lines? There are children on this forum you know, disgusting drug references.

As if hamsters needed drugs, they're to busy watching your vinegar stroke face and sending e-mails from Nigerian princes with cash flow problems.

[miniboxer]

Hamsters doing lines? There are children on this forum you know, disgusting drug references.

As if hamsters needed drugs, they're to busy watching your vinegar stroke face and sending e-mails from Nigerian princes with cash flow problems.

there are children on these forums....hahahahhahhahah, no, all the stupid children are beaten. And those hamsters like them some drugs. Who needs windows when you got some lines?

[technomonkey76]

Re: Wont Open

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no.

QUICK, IDENTIFY WHAT A BASH FILE IS, AND WHAT THE OPENING COMMAND IS!

Not sure if trolling or arrogant.

A "bash file" is nothing more than a plaintext file headed with a "shebang line" (yes, it's the common term for it), which is the line that tells the computer with what to interpret the file. If you've seen a Python script, you've seen a shebang line. (Bash scripts use #!/bin/bash as the first line.) A more appropriate term for this kind of file is a "shell script." The Bourne-Again SHell (bash) offers additional interpretable characters that do not appear in the form of external executables, for purposes such as creating loops and conditional statements. As for an "opening command," one can often execute either bash or (if bash is the user's default shell [see also: chsh]) sh with the file as an argument to run the commands in the script. However, it's probably better to give the shell script executable permissions (see also: chmod) (755 [-rwxr-xr-x] is usually a decent choice for permissions), and invoke it without bash. To invoke a shell script without explicitly specifying the program that will handle it (to run it without passing it as an argument to the shell executable), however, the file must either be in a directory specified in the PATH environment variable or it must be prefixed with a "./", which will tell the shell invoking the file to search for it in the current directory. The shebang line, if typed properly, will instruct the computer to use bash to parse the script. Often, a shell script is given an extension such as ".sh", but if you're using one, you're likely on a Unix-based OS (including Linux-based OSs), and you shouldn't care about file extensions much.

Det svenska språket är roligt och intressant.

Ja, men lojban är det bästa språket.

[miniboxer]

Re: Wont Open

Not sure if trolling or arrogant.

A "bash file" is nothing more than a plaintext file headed with a "shebang line" (yes, it's the common term for it), which is the line that tells the computer with what to interpret the file. If you've seen a Python script, you've seen a shebang line. (Bash scripts use #!/bin/bash as the first line.) A more appropriate term for this kind of file is a "shell script." The Bourne-Again SHell (bash) offers additional interpretable characters that do not appear in the form of external executables, for purposes such as creating loops and conditional statements. As for an "opening command," one can often execute either bash or (if bash is the user's default shell [see also: chsh]) sh with the file as an argument to run the commands in the script. However, it's probably better to give the shell script executable permissions (see also: chmod) (755 [-rwxr-xr-x] is usually a decent choice for permissions), and invoke it without bash. To invoke a shell script without explicitly specifying the program that will handle it (to run it without passing it as an argument to the shell executable), however, the file must either be in a directory specified in the PATH environment variable or it must be prefixed with a "./", which will tell the shell invoking the file to search for it in the current directory. The shebang line, if typed properly, will instruct the computer to use bash to parse the script. Often, a shell script is given an extension such as ".sh", but if you're using one, you're likely on a Unix-based OS (including Linux-based OSs), and you shouldn't care about file extensions much.

You gave the correct answer

[alely]

Wow.. these threads are filled with everything from A-Å!