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Posted

Wish granted. The new launcher is here, but it's so unfinished and bugged that you end up being unable to play at all until the actual release date.

I wish for a genie that would grant me infinite wishes.

The genie grants you unlimited wishes but he is incompetent so kills you when you make the first wish.

I wish you don't grant this wish.

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Posted

You travle back and time and murder Aldof Hitler as a baby and when you come back you are arested and executed for murdering an inocent child as the first time travling murderer.

I wish for cake.

Posted

You will get your cake. However you must complete a series of 19 puzzles involving the use of a handheld portal device. Please attempt to avoid the Progress Discouragement Bullets.

I wish for the money to upgrade my hand built 3D printer.

Posted

You receive the money, delivered as fast as possible (~mach 1) directly to the printer you were going to spend it on anyway.

I wish people wouldn't screw up on including wishes.

Posted

You can see everyone's edit history on every forum in history. All the text blocks out your screen.

I wish people could see that I updated my post to continue the game. "edit reason: ninja recovery"

Posted

You can see everyone's edit history on every forum in history. All the text blocks out your screen.

I wish people could see that I updated my post to continue the game. "edit reason: ninja recovery"

People see that you updated your post and accuse you of being Godzilla. Not sure why.

I wish I was Chuck Norris!

Posted

People see that you updated your post and accuse you of being Godzilla. Not sure why.

I wish I was Chuck Norris!

You sell out soon after grasping greatness, and star in a shitty world of warcraft commercial

I wish for the power to go super sayian 4 whenever I wanted, with no repercussion on my health

Posted

I wish for the power to go super sayian 4 whenever I wanted, with no repercussion on my health

It ends up taking you several episodes to do anything.

I wish that slowpoke would show his true colours and have a big meltdown insulting and slandering a modder. Oh! Already came true! :swoon:

Ok then I wish for some really good chicken wings.

Posted

All languages start using the exact same syntax so you don't forget it... The same syntax as BASIC, that is. The sudden lack of quality in programming languages crashes every program(almost) ever, as suddenly, their code does not match the syntax. Everyone gangs up and murders you for breaking Minecraft.

I wish I could transfer my brain to a completely working quantum computer with full input from visual, audio, and vibratory sources, with a completely working phylactery so my soul does not perish. It is made of high energy particles as well, so it is nearly indestructible (I forget which quarks are the high-energy ones).

Posted

Your brain is transferred to the suit you described. Also transferred is a chimpanzee, who is the one attached to the controls.

I wish I had a backhoe.

Posted

Granted, but it's powered by children's blood, and the tank is empty.

I wish cocaine never existed.

Granted. Meth is now the new gateway drug. approximately 80% of the world looses the ability to be happy, and all fun things cease to exist. But hey, it wasn't cocaine!

I wish for all wishes to no longer be granted in 10 word sentences that are boring :V

Posted

The Super Trolls go their separate ways and, instead of trolling on their own, engage in trolling outreach activities to teach other people about the joys of trolling. Within 30 days, everyone in the world is trolling the one remaining holdout from the World Order of Trolls: you.

I wish all wishes were 11 words long like this one.

Posted

Granted. Then, a machine is invented that makes wishes come true. Since people can only wish eleven word long wishes, they create AI's to write wishes with advanced vocabulary , to attempt to get over the 11 word limit. The standard AI apocalypse stuff happens. You just ruined the human race. Thanks mate.

I wish Jetlag didn't happen, because it sucks.

Posted

All jets crash and burn killing every single passenger on board.

I wish onions had faces and could sing karaoke all night!!

(those were both 11 words!)

Posted

All jets crash and burn killing every single passenger on board.

I wish onions had faces and could sing karaoke all night!!

(those were both 11 words!)

the onions soon find the mind control melody and enslave the human race

i wish for a potato shaped, diamond hard, graphene tough penny

Posted

"Potato-shaped" and "penny" are mutually exclusive, because an object can only have one shape. Your wish cannot be granted, but as Wish-Granting Genie I can't just do nothing and leave, so I'll just throw a pie in your face and call it good.

I wish my laundry put itself away, then my mother wouldn't kick me off the computer to do it.

Posted

Your laundry is now capable of putting its self away. But it's now sentient and it doesn't like you. You have to live the rest of your life without clothes.

I wish for an actual interstellar spacecraft.

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