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rec_diver

CONTEST! Solve this kids problem and I will donate 10 dollars to a modder!

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Mod edit: Contest over! The OP never came back so I donated $20 to Dan200, author of Computer Craft. Thanks everyone who offered suggestions in the spirit of fun!:siren:

Launcher Version: 1.0.1.3

Operating System: pc

Java Version: 8

Antivirus Program:

Description of Problem:

I cant get on tekkit lite or voltz

Error Messages:

Error Log:



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This is one of the most terribly low effort bug reports I have ever seen. rec_diver, please do not provide any more info unless I personally say so. This is now a forums contest.

:siren: If anyone can fix this users problem based only on the information provided I will paypal 10 dollars to the modder of their choice. I'm dead serious. :siren:

5 day deadline starting now.

Contest over. He never came back, but in the spirit of Technic I have donated double the reward to Dan200 author of computer craft.

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This is one of the most terribly low effort bug reports I have ever seen. rec_diver, please do not provide any more info unless I personally say so. This is now a forums contest.

:siren: If anyone can fix this users problem based only on the information provided I will paypal 10 dollars to the modder of their choice. I'm dead serious. :siren:

5 day deadline starting now.

Easy. Delete your techniclauncher folder, and download the new jar folder. (~/Library/Application Support/techniclauncher)

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Easy. Delete your techniclauncher folder, and download the new jar folder. (~/Library/Application Support/techniclauncher)

That's the mac fix and he has made it very clear that his operating system is...."pc"... :sigh:

Let's see if you're right and he reports back that it's fixed. I won't mind paying out if you are. You'd probably pick a worthy modder.

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Up in the left corner of the launcher, click the little arrow to the right of "Technic". From the menu select either Tekkit Lite or Voltz and login with your minecraft username and password.

*rolls dice*

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Up in the left corner of the launcher, click the little arrow to the right of "Technic". From the menu select either Tekkit Lite or Voltz and login with your minecraft username and password.

*rolls dice*

I'd say I didn't like your odds but...they may be decent.

OP, the solution is to do everything correctly next time.

Do I win?

Not unless he says you solved his problem. Better luck next time chumpo!

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I FOUND THE PROBLEM!

You need to downgrade Java, Minecraft isn't built to run on future versions of Java which haven't been released yet!

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I'm gonna hold on the duck remover suggestion.

I'm 50% sure if it was ducks, OP would've said so.

Using my Sherlock Holmes power of deduction - he put 8 as his Java version because he is in fact on

WINDOWS 8!!!

Windows 8 has been proven to mess up Minecraft in relation to handling graphics drivers, therefore the OP needs to update his/her graphics drivers, then run in Windows 7 compatability mode.

Done. 10 dollars to CovertJaguar, please.

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Done. 10 dollars to CovertJaguar, please.

I would do it if you're right. Don't think I wouldn't! I think your odds are good. Hope the OP comes back soon and plays along. He can get his problem fixed in a fun way and support modders!

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So I decided to sign up here to share a fix I just found that helped a friend that was getting the dreaded "Update Fail" issue. After a night of cursing and flipping through pages and pages of different fixes, I figured one out that actually fixed her problem.

After watching a youtube video that did nothing to help, I skimmed the comments and found that someone fixed theirs by downloading the offline version of java. She is running Windows 7 64 bit.

The link to the Java download page (use the offline download, not the online.): http://www.java.com/en/download/manual.jsp

I don't know if this has been mentioned, nor do I believe it will work for everyone, but figured giving my two cents might help a few individuals.

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You see..

If you hit START+R, and type in "cmd", you can then type in the command:

start java.exe -maketea -Xcups

Oh? You don't have the tea addon? I highly recommend it; it's fixed every computer problem I've ever had.

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Yup. I'll let you make a serious one if you like, and not count your joke guess.

An actual guess could seriously undermine my attempt at comedy so I will have to respectfully decline.

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actual answer:

hold the windows key (sometimes called the START key) and press the R key (lower case so don't hold shift) and type in %appdata% (no caps or anything) now delete the .techniclauncher folder, start up the launcher, it should work now...

i will use $2 of that to bail myself out of this meme

I DON'T WANT LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE!

and

he used to make good error reports, then he took an arrow in the knee.

you can give the rest of that $8 to eloraam :)

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Obviously WindowsPC won't work with Java 8, you need to upgrade (it's way too high-tech, since the only working java 8 version is for 128-bit). Therefore, go here and your problems will be solved :)

(The cash to FlowerChild please :D)

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Sir, the Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™ is a specialized computer made specifically for learning how to cook with cooking pans among various other things. Sadly, Java 8 & all related programs are incompatible with the Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™. Therefore, you are required to use the Cookeroobasile Cook-Coding Language™ for this product to work. Downloading version 7 of the Cookeroobasile Cook-Coding Language™ may cause:

  • Vomiting
  • Breast Cancer
  • Uncommon Colds
  • Unidentified Fuckin' Objects
  • Mosquitoes
  • Diarrhea
  • Explosive Diarrhea
  • Nuclear Diarrhea
    - Is known to cause nuclear flenkasplosions.
  • More Vomiting
  • Explosive Vomiting
  • Butterflies forming in your stomach
    - Literally, that is.
  • Doomsday Devices being triggered
  • Blue Screens of Death
    - May also appear in real life
  • Real life lag
  • A huge list of side effects

Please download the Cookeroobasile Cook-Coding Language™ to enjoy your experience as a Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™.Otherwise, you may head to your local Orange Computer Store with your Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™ and pay $20,000 to have Java and all related devices be compatible with your Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™.

Thank you for your business, fellow slave. This article has costed 15 golden bananas. Return these bananas within a year or you may be brutally slapped to death with nuclear explosives.

l0mCC.png

EDIT: Excuse me for forgetting. Please send the 10 Rupoors to flowerchild.

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Obviously WindowsPC won't work with Java 8, you need to upgrade (it's way too high-tech, since the only working java 8 version is for 128-bit). Therefore, go here and your problems will be solved :)

(The cash to dong princess please :D)

Who would use 128 bit

Sir, the Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™ is a specialized computer made specifically for learning how to cook with cooking pans among various other things. Sadly, Java 8 & all related programs are incompatible with the Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™. Therefore, you are required to use the Cookeroobasile Cook-Coding Language™ for this product to work. Downloading version 7 of the Cookeroobasile Cook-Coding Language™ may cause:

  • Vomiting
  • Breast Cancer
  • Uncommon Colds
  • Unidentified Fuckin' Objects
  • Mosquitoes
  • Diarrhea
  • Explosive Diarrhea
  • Nuclear Diarrhea
    - Is known to cause nuclear flenkasplosions.
  • More Vomiting
  • Explosive Vomiting
  • Butterflies forming in your stomach
    - Literally, that is.
  • Doomsday Devices being triggered
  • Blue Screens of Death
    - May also appear in real life
  • Real life lag
  • A huge list of side effects

Please download the Cookeroobasile Cook-Coding Language™ to enjoy your experience as a Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™.Otherwise, you may head to your local Orange Computer Store with your Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™ and pay $20,000 to have Java and all related devices be compatible with your Pan Cookin' Customized Blingerattzin™.

Thank you for your business, fellow slave. This article has costed 15 golden bananas. Return these bananas within a year or you may be brutally slapped to death with nuclear explosives.

l0mCC.png

EDIT: Excuse me for forgetting. Please send the 10 Rupoors to dong princess.

you are off topic about a problem

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Or maybe he was on topic about a joke. We just. Never know.

how can I like the post you made before that? That is most certainly Like worthy! Thank you for making my day!

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